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The Truth About ADHD and ODD is Debra Sale Wendler's look at ADHD and ODD and how it affects family dynamics. Read it online, save it, and feel free to pass it around
Should My Child Be Assessed for ADHD?
A Reader Asks:
How do I determine if my child should be assessed for ADHD?
Respect Effect Mom Answers:
I refer folks looking for the definitive checklist for ADHD and ODD to the DSM-IV for ADHD, and for ODD. These make it very simple to determine if one’s child should be assessed.
In addition, here are some unofficial red flag ADHD alerts you rarely hear mentioned:
• As infants often appear colicky and easily over-stimulated.
• Always chewing on something, sleeves, collars, something.
• Often late to talk and toilet train.
• Often appear to have speech and hearing problems.
• Chronic interrupting.
• Lack of eye contact, especially during introductions.
• Rarely sit through an entire meal without getting up and running around for one thing or another.
• Trouble with telling the truth.
• Trouble with taking things that don’t belong to them.
• Often the loner - on the playground, in the neighborhood.
• May pretend to have friends, but few peers seek them out.
• Noncompliance - either outright defiance or just passive noncompliance with adult requests.
• Wade-through-the-room type clutter.Your child may very well have ADHD and have all or none of these signs. Some of the items listed are signs of ODD (65% of children with ADHD develop it). However, we have found them to be good indicators that it’s time to look closer for the cause.
If now is a good time to get your child’s attitude and behavior under control, I invite you to use these parenting tips to get started. If you want more tips, I invite you to claim your free report “Seven Simple Ways to Motivate Your Child to Listen to You!” You can download it when you sign up at http://www.AdhdParentingTips.com It explains the methods I used to transform my son’s ADHD/ODD behavior from out-of-control to almost normal in 3 weeks. You also get 3 free videos: “How To Prevent Temper Tantrums.” The sooner you start this, the easier it is to help your child. You CAN do this.
From Debra Sale Wendler - Respect Effect Mom and Respect Effect Parenting at http://www.AdhdParentingSuccess.com
ADHD in Children: is ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) Just Bad Behavior?
Is ADHD in Children a Medical Condition or Bad Behavior?
Parents often ask me if ADHD is a real medical condition or merely bad behavior that requires more severe discipline like spanking.
Spanking children with ADHD only causes a fight or flight syndrome that is damaging to the parent-child relationship. A sturdy parent-child relationship is “the thing” that will get parents through this. You CANNOT help your child without it, because he will NOT listen to you.When you learn how to provide your child with the relationship, structure, reward, and consistency he craves, you will see a remarkable improvement in his attitude and behavior. And you will see without a shadow of doubt that ADHD is VERY real, and VERY treatable.
Adhd Medication Versus Natural Supplements and Diet Restrictions
I also get many letters from parents asking me if they should try natural supplements and eliminate toxins before administering their child’s prescribed ADHD medication.
Coaxing my son to take natural remedies did nothing for his behavior and only made him angrier. One day I decided to give him the pill his doctor had prescribed. Within an hour, I had a 25% nicer little boy. He wasn’t perfect, but the change was VERY obvious. No amount of fish oil had ever done that.
Although there are some children who can’t take the prescribed medication for ADHD, and others who get some results from taking supplements and eliminating chemical dyes, my experience is fairly common. If you’re opposed to medicating your child, focus instead on the remaining 75% of the proven solution: relationship, structure, reward, and consistency. These things are easy to do and the payoff in your child’s attitude and behavior will be enormous.
The MOST IMPORTANT THING to do now is get started, because this WON’T go away by watching and waiting. And by the time your child is 12, it’s too late to help him with parenting alone.
You Can Improve Child Behavior
If now is a good time to get your child’s attitude and behavior under control, I invite you to use these parenting tips to get started. If you want more tips, I invite you to claim your free report “Seven Simple Ways to Get Your Child to Listen to You!” You can download it when you sign up at http://www.AdhdParentingTips.com It explains the methods I used to transform my son’s ADHD/ODD behavior from out-of-control to almost normal. You also get 3 free videos: “How To Prevent Temper Tantrums.” The sooner you start this, the easier it is to help your child. You CAN do this.
From Debra Sale Wendler - Respect Effect Mom and Respect Effect Parenting at http://www.AdhdParentingSuccess.com.
Should We Medicate Our Kids with ADHD?
Parents often ask me if they should medicate their children with ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder). Talk about shark-infested waters…
I rarely discuss medication because it is such a controversial topic. However, I am willing to brave these shark-infested waters to offer another viewpoint.Here’s the thing. Medication only solves about 25% of the difficult characteristics of ADHD that can be solved. Mainly, it helps children concentrate in school. The remaining 75% can be resolved with the help of a skilled therapist who can teach you how to provide structure, consistency, and more.If your child has been diagnosed with ADHD, you are reluctant to rely on medication. However, if your child is struggling in school, you may want to look into administering your child’s prescribed ADHD medication.
Telling Your Child with ADHD To Concentrate without Medication is Like Telling a Blind Child to See
Without prescribed medication, your child with ADHD will likely get holes in his or her education that may eventually become impossible to overcome. For example, if your child lacks the concentration to learn fractions, he or she will never pass algebra. Algebra is required to graduate from high school. (Did you know it is estimated that 45% of all children that drop out of school have ADHD?)Without medication, your child may exhibit behavior that drives away peers. Kids with ADHD have enough trouble making friends without all that.In a perfect world, we would not have to struggle with ADHD. However, kids with ADHD usually feel more fulfilled and more successful when they take their prescribed medication. Some parents worry that their children will get addicted to their prescribed ADHD medication. Unfortunately, it appears that children that do not take their prescribed ADHD medication are more inclined to self-medicate with drugs and alcohol.It’s up to you to decide what is best for your child, now and in the future.
You CAN Improve Your Child’s Attitude and Behavior
If now is a good time to get your child’s attitude and behavior under control, I invite you to use these parenting tips to get started. If you want more tips, I invite you to claim your free report “Seven Simple Ways to Motivate Your Child to Listen to You!” You can download it when you sign up at http://www.AdhdParentingTips.com It explains the methods I used to transform my son’s ADHD/ODD behavior from out-of-control to almost normal. You also get 3 free videos: “How To Prevent Temper Tantrums.” The sooner you start this, the easier it is to help your child. You CAN do this.From Debra Sale Wendler - Respect Effect Mom and Respect Effect Parenting at http://www.AdhdParentingSuccess.com
ADHD In Children: 14 Common Excuses and Defenses by Parents
Recurring Rationalizations, Defenses, and Excuses of Parents of Children with ADHD:
- Denial—“I’m not sure he has ADHD.” (He’s difficult, but you don’t know why.) “He can pay attention when he’s watching a movie or playing with his toys.” (Kids with ADHD can pay attention under five conditions.) “He’s fine. There’s nothing wrong with him. He’s just… His dad used to… When things get back to normal, he’ll…” (The list goes on.)
- Self-doubt—“I must have bad genes to have created a kid like this.” (Slow down, you can’t be more than 50% responsible for his genes.)
- Attention-seeking—“He’s constantly in my face demanding something. It’s exhausting.”
- His chaos is your chaos.
Home chaos—“He’s disorganized and his room is a mess. I can’t get him to do anything.”
School chaos—“Homework takes forever. He’s really smart but he hates school, so he’s making bad grades. He says it’s boring and the teacher is mean.” “These teacher conferences are taking more and more time from work. I hope I don’t get fired.”
- Impulsiveness—“He can’t control his impulsiveness—bad attitude, talking back, lying, stealing, and hitting. It’s automatic. He can’t help it.”
- Noncompliance—“He doesn’t listen to me until I scream, after telling him the tenth time.”
- Emotional overarousal—“His angry outbursts and explosive temper scare me.”
- No friends—“No one invites him to anything.” (He has no social skills.)
- Ignorance—Don’t understand ADHD/ODD—“I want to learn, but all of the literature says something different. I want the facts.” (Keep reading.)
- No support system—“Nobody understands how hard this is. I’m doing this all alone. I’m tired of being blamed for being a bad parent. I have no life.” (It is a lonely and thankless job, especially when things are getting worse.)
- Don’t know how to cope with or change him—“I don’t know what to do. I’m too exhausted from chasing after him all day and trying to take care of him.” (We will help you learn what to do.)
- Don’t know who the real experts are—“No one seems to know what to do to help him.” (Many professionals do not know.)
- Financial constraint—“His medication is too expensive. The medical bills are breaking us.” (This is why ADHD is called the “rich man’s disorder.”)
- Regret—“If I had known I was adopting a kid with ADHD, I would have stayed childless.” (Please do not blame your child for the inconvenience of his mental disorders.)
You May Be Dealing with the Signs of ADHD or ODD
If you are saying these things, you may be dealing with the signs of ADHD or ODD in children. It is very difficult to guess how to solve it. However, with the right information and some simple tools and techniques, you can get life with your child closer to normal than you can probably imagine.
If now is a good time to get your child’s attitude and behavior under control, I invite you to use these parenting tips to get started. If you want more tips, I invite you to claim your free report “Seven Simple Ways to Motivate Your Child to Listen to You!” You can download it when you sign up at http://www.AdhdParentingTips.com It explains the methods I used to transform my son’s ADHD/ODD behavior from out-of-control to almost normal in 3 weeks. You also get 3 free videos: “How To Prevent Temper Tantrums.” The sooner you start this, the easier it is to help your child. You CAN do this.
From Debra Sale Wendler - Respect Effect Mom and Respect Effect Parenting at http://www.AdhdParentingSuccess.com
Is Therapy For My Child With ADHD Really That Important?
A Reader Asks:
My child with ADHD is doing well on her prescribed medication, except she has this terrible screaming meltdown problem. My husband and I have to yell at her and threaten to spank her to get her to stop. Our doctor asked me if I thought we needed therapy. So now I’ll ask you…Is therapy really that important?
Respect Effect Mom Answers:
I highly recommend that all married parents that have children with ADHD get marital counseling. Parenting a child with ADHD can take a terrible toll on marriage. Now you see why. One statistic is that these couples are three times more likely to divorce.
Your daughter has meltdowns because she feels inadequate when required to do certain skills she has not been trained to do. She also has meltdowns to control you and get her way, perhaps so you will not ask her to do the chore or skill she feels inadequate doing. Or that she simply does not want to do, for example, homework.
Medication will not solve that. Therapy can if you find the right therapist and if you follow through at home.
You need to learn how to teach your daughter skills and chores so that she feels more capable and so that she takes more responsibility. Even three year olds can be taught to fold hand towels.
The most important thing that you will get from therapy is parent education so that you can learn how to respect your child’s limitations. That’s the starting point. The next thing is to learn how to mend and nurture the parent-child relationship so that your child wants to comply to please you. Your child’s therapist will also teach you coping skills so that you know what to do rather than yell or threaten to spank your child.
Try whispering instead. Or leave the room for five minutes and let her yell to her heart’s content. Then return and see if she wants to yell for five minutes more or three minutes more. Then return again.
Here’s a tip: the more out of control she gets, the quieter andmore in control you get. That will REALLY get her attention. Explain that yelling is only acceptable in an emergency meaning there is blood, fire, or a needed trip to the hospital. Keep things simple. And follow through. That’s a good time to tell the fable about the boy who cried wolf.
The next time she yells and you know it is not an emergency, try acting as if you don’t hear it at all. Obviously she’s getting something out of the yelling—your immediate response and assistance—or she would stop. So take that away from her and see what happens.
If your child’s doctor doesn’t understand ADHD enough to know for certain that your daughter needs therapy, my suggestion is to get a new doctor. Or, to allow him to diagnose and prescribe medication only.
If that’s already done, rather than another trip to the doctor, why not save your money for extra therapy hours instead? And find the very best play therapist you can find, not a psychologist or psychiatrist. That talking kind of therapy will only frustrate you and your child more.
Yes, Therapy IS Really That Important
If now is a good time to get your child’s attitude and behavior under control, I invite you to use these parenting tips to get started. If you want more tips, I invite you to claim your free report “Seven Simple Ways to Motivate Your Child to Listen to You!” You can download it when you sign up at http://www.AdhdParentingTips.com It explains the methods I used to transform my son’s ADHD/ODD behavior from out-of-control to almost normal in 3 weeks. You also get 3 free videos: “How To Prevent Temper Tantrums.” The sooner you start this, the easier it is to help your child. You CAN do this.
From Debra Sale Wendler - Respect Effect Mom and Respect Effect Parenting at http://www.AdhdParentingSuccess.com
How I Use Rich Media to SHOW Parents How to Help Children with ADHD and ODD
What is Rich Media?
Rich media is the new term for incorporating text, graphics, audio, video, in an interactive format to communicate a message.
Tonight Rich-Media GENIUS Paul Richardson (@TheMediaCzar on Twitter) grills me on how I use rich media, Twitter and other social media, blogs, bookmarking, and email to deliver our Message of Hope and Practical Steps to POSITIVE CHANGE to parents around the world.
Here’s How to Join in the Conversation…
You can join us by listening in on your computer or dialing in by phone.
You can click this link for more information. http://instantteleseminar.com/
While you’re there, please write in your question in the space provided on that page and we’ll do our best to get to them tonight. We’ll be on for an hour at 9 Eastern, 8 Central, and 6 Pacific. I hope to SEE you there.
If now is a good time to get your child’s attitude and behavior under control, I invite you to use these parenting tips to get started. If you want more tips, I invite you to claim your free report “Seven Simple Ways to Motivate Your Child to Listen to You!” You can download it when you sign up at http://www.AdhdParentingTips.com It explains the methods I used to transform my son’s ADHD/ODD behavior from out-of-control to almost normal in 3 weeks. You also get 3 free videos: “How To Prevent Temper Tantrums.”
Please leave a comment below and we’ll send you our new report “The REAL Truth About ADHD and ODD in Children.” Be sure to add your correct email address.
The sooner you start this, the easier it is to help your child. You CAN do this.
From Debra Sale Wendler - Respect Effect Mom and Respect Effect Parenting at http://www.AdhdParentingSuccess.com
ADHD Parenting: Teaching Empathy, Self-control, and Proper Emotional Expression with Feeling Words
Parents and their children with ADHD are often surprised to learn that there is no absolute way to feel in a given situation. For example, if two parents are watching their son struggle with the dreaded multiplication facts, the father might feel angry and frustratedbecause his son does not know his “nines” after seven days of studying. The mother might feel worried and depleted because she is running out of ways to help and motivate him. A person’s feelings are valid and real.
Feelings Open Your Child’s Eyes to the Shades of Gray of Feelings
The lame parental statement “You are making me mad, so go to your room, now” can be expressed in graduating degrees of intensity. For example, “You’re chewing your food with your mouth open. That’s annoying.” “I’m getting irritated to see you put so much food in your mouth that you can’t close it to chew.” “Whew, this is disgusting. You spit on my arm! That’s it. Put down your fork, put your hands in your lap, and watch your dad and me use proper table manners for the next five minutes. I’ll set the timer.”
Your child will learn in this five minutes what you were unsuccessful in teaching him previously. With this one incident, he will learn that you say what you mean, you give him fair and specific progressive warnings, you give him a chance to win again, and you are firm but have good intent to deliver your discipline. At last, after those five minutes he will start viewing you with added respect.
Annoyed is a feeling word you can use often to show the graduating intensity of feelings from annoyed to irritated to frustrated to getting angry to angry to more angry. Repeat to yourself the feeling words underlined in this article to make them a part of your vocabulary.
Stuffing Feelings Leads to a Tantrum
If your child feels something and does not have the words for it, he might stuff his feelings—fear, anxious, and rejected—rather than risk the embarrassment of appearing less than smart. When he learns to name his feelings as he is having them, he will begin to understand the range of emotions between opposite feelings—happy and sad, successful and disappointed. See more examples in Table 1. When he has the vocabulary to name something as abstract and fluid as feelings, he immediately feels relieved and in control of the situation.
Click here to see feeling words chart.
How to Model Using Feeling Words
Label your feelings at every opportunity. For example, if your child is bugging you, say, “Son, right now I’m feeling pressured by you. That’s irritating me. Please stop.” If he does not stop, say, “I’ll take two tokens now, one for not responding to my request and one forfrustrating me. If it continues, I’ll take one token for each negative feeling I feel about you. I promise that before I take one, I’ll name the feeling.”
He will learn the graduating intensity of his parent’s feelings from annoyed, irritated, frustrated, getting angry, angry, to more angry. In this way, he will feel safe because you are not turning from “not mad” to “spitting mad” in three seconds and spanking him. He will have time to process them and decide what he can do differently before you get to the angry stage. This modeling will teach him to do the same.
For example, “JJ, I can see your wet towel was left in the hallway. Please pick it up.” Thirty seconds later, “JJ, I’m getting annoyed. The wet towel on the floor is a safety hazard. This is my first and last warning.” Thirty seconds later, “JJ, I’m getting frustrated with this safety issue. I’m slowly walking over to pick it up and earn myself a token.” If he runs ahead of you, grabs the towel, and puts it in the hamper, say, “Shucks, I didn’t get to earn a token from you, this time. I’m glad you beat me to it, or I would have to get angry, for sure.” Decorate your walls with this list of feeling words to remind you to use feeling words.
Parents who scream and yell to convey anger and frustration are teaching their children to scream and yell back at them. Parents who say nothing when they are “not mad” and scream and yell when they are “spitting mad,” are teaching their children the same rigid ways of expression.
For discipline, develop a “tell it like it is” monotone voice. It is OK to raise your voice to be heard, but do not use mean-sounding or harsh tones. Yelling does not solve anything. It only stops communication. Speak at a normal and understandable pace. When you know what to say and what to do, you will not get angry as often.
Anger Shows Your Child That He is Getting To You
He will love it. Do not whine and sound exasperated; that is modeling negative behavior. When he hears that tone of voice, he will think, “I won, again.” Do not give him that power.
Here’s What to Do If You Get Angry
If you are angry, take ten deep breaths. If you are still too angry to be calm, model self-control and say, “I’m too angry to deal with this. I need some time to think about it so I’ll be fair to you. I’ll return in ten minutes and we’ll continue then.” Or say, “We could use a cool drink.”
Your child can only learn self-control if he sees self-control. If you leave the room without talking to him, he will think he is winning again. Return in ten minutes to demonstrate your credibility and integrity and resolve the issue.
What You Can Expect When You Use Feeling Words
Your child will act out less frequently when you talk about your feelings, act gently toward others, and manage your own emotions. It might be awkward when you first incorporate feeling words in your daily vocabulary, but it is good modeling. When your child talks and expresses feelings, he will talk more and act out less. When you share genuine similar feelings, empathy will soon develop, and you and your child will reconnect emotionally.
If now is a good time to get your child’s attitude and behavior under control, I invite you to use these parenting tips to get started. If you want more tips, I invite you to claim your free report “Seven Simple Ways to Motivate Your Child to Listen to You!” You can download it when you sign up at http://www.AdhdParentingTips.com. It explains the methods I used to transform my son’s ADHD/ODD behavior from out-of-control to almost normal in 3 weeks. You also get 3 free videos: “How To Prevent Temper Tantrums.” The sooner you start this, the easier it is to help your child. You CAN do this.From Debra Sale Wendler - Respect Effect Mom and Respect Effect Parenting at http://www.AdhdParentingSuccess.com.
How Do I Know If It’s Asperger’s, Autism, or Severe ADHD?
My son’s teacher insists that my son has Asperger’s syndrome or autism. But I think it’s more likely that he has ADHD. What should I do?
Respect Effect Mom Answers:
I believe that many children with severe ADHD are misdiagnosed as having asperger’s, pdd nos, and autism because far too many diagnosing professionals do not recognize the true traits of ADHD, especially severe ADHD. Therefore, many parents feel hopeless and helpless.
ADHD, even severe ADHD is very treatable when you take action early with proper treatment. I am committed to helping parents recognize these characteristics early, and give them the confidence and information to do just that.
Going out on a spindly limb here, but many folks don’t realize that… Autism is worlds apart from ADHD. A skilled professional can tell if a child is autistic by simple watching him or her. I won’t go into that here. But it really is that clear when one knows what to look for.It’s easy to get caught swirling in information overload soup and do nothing. Because it’s too confusing.
Trust your child’s teachers to educate your child. Trust only qualified professionals to diagnose and treat your child.
If it were me, I would say this to your child’s teacher. “I am grateful that you took the time to express your concerns for my child. That was very courageous. I must trust my child’s doctors to diagnose and treat him. Meanwhile, please let me know how I can support your teaching at home. Thank you for educating my son.”
Trust your instincts. Your child needs that from you.
If now is a good time to get your child’s attitude and behavior under control, I invite you to use these parenting tips to get started.If you want more tips, I invite you to claim your free report “Seven Simple Ways to Motivate Your Child to Listen to You!” You can download it when you sign up at http://www.AdhdParentingTips.com It explains the methods I used to transform my son’s ADHD/ODD behavior from out-of-control to almost normal in 3 weeks. You also get 3 free videos: “How To Prevent Temper Tantrums.” The sooner you start this, the easier it is to help your child. You CAN do this.
From Debra Sale Wendler - Respect Effect Mom and Respect Effect Parenting at http://www.AdhdParentingSuccess.com
ADHD Parenting: How Can I Help My Child Without Losing My Mind?
My son hasn’t been diagnosed with ADHD but I know in my soul, he has it. He was such a wonderful child from birth to age 5 (3 years ago. That’s when I noticed a behavior change. Now, he’s the complete opposite—not loving but selfish, not caring but rude and obnoxious.
And never stops talking. He talks over us and interrupts our conversations, especially when I’m on the phone. He’s impatient, vengeful, resentful and mean. He blames others for his mistakes and is oversensitive. I have tried different things, but nothing worked.
I’m tired, stressed out, and need some help. I got angry at him, screamed at him, and cursed him. Yes, it might have felt good to vent my frustration and anger at the moment, but on a helpless child; I feel like the most horrible parent in the world!
My husband is in denial. I am just in pain. Please help me. I feel like I’ve lost my mind.
Respect Effect Mom Answers:
I’m sorry you’re suffering. From what you have described, you have every reason to suspect ADHD and ODD.
I know how hard it can be when you don’t know what to do for your child. And you watch helplessly as no matter what you try only seems to make matters worse. It wasn’t that long ago that I was in your shoes.
You are absolutely right to take measures to get your child assessed for ADHD. The secret is to find a good therapist with proven success in improving the behavior of children with ADHD.
Very few people understand ODD, especially how to treat it. And it will get a lot worse and fast until you learn how to provide your child with what he needs.You will never guess what’s causing the problem or how to solve it.
I have never suffered so much in my life as when I was struggling with my out-of-control child. And I felt so isolated and lonely.
Here’s Your Next Important Step
For now just concentrate on the next most important step—getting your child assessed by a competent professional. Spend your time and energy finding someone that you trust. And then take their advice.
No book can help you fast enough. And most of them will confuse you more than help. The magic will start when you find a play therapist skilled in helping children with ADHD AND ODD. And follow his or her advice.
Please do not waste your time trying to get that from a psychiatrist or psychologist. That’s talking therapy. And it will only frustrate your child. The talking kind of therapy will NOT work with your child because long talking bores your child silly. He learns by playing and doing.
Find the best play therapist you can find and trust their advice. And if you can possibly afford it, ask for longer sessions at first than insurance covers. You need several two-three hour sessions to get this under control. 50 minutes a week is NOT enough to solve what I’m hearing you describe.
The solution is medication, therapy, behavior management, and consistency. And that’s what your child’s therapist should teach you how to do. That’s the approach that changed my life and my child’s.
Please take care of yourself. Forgive yourself. And store up your strength to help your child and ease your pain.
Here’s a Quick Parenting Tip
If you feel like screaming or spanking, WHISPER “I’ll be back in five minutes when I decide what to do with you.” And leave the room. Take some deep breaths and calm yourself. Then come back in exactly five minutes and talk calmly. That’s modeling good emotional expression. And that’s the start of the magic.
Sending you strength to fortify your aching heart.
You CAN Solve This
If now is a good time to get your child’s attitude and behavior under control, I invite you to use these parenting tips to get started. If you want more tips, I invite you to claim your free report “Seven Simple Ways to Motivate Your Child to Listen to You!” You can download it when you sign up at http://www.AdhdParentingTips.com It explains the methods I used to transform my son’s ADHD/ODD behavior from out-of-control to almost normal in 3 weeks. You also get 3 free videos: “How To Prevent Temper Tantrums.”
The sooner you start this, the easier it is to help your child. You CAN do this.
From Debra Sale Wendler - Respect Effect Mom and Respect Effect Parenting at http://www.AdhdParentingSuccess.com
Adhd Parenting: When Do Kids Learn to Tie Their Shoes?
We’re having a terrible time teaching my daughter how to tie her shoes. She is six and has ADHD.
Respect Effect Mom answers:
Most kids will want to know how to do it by age 5. Children that show no interest in learning or have a lot of trouble learning it often have dyslexia or ADHD or both. (Children with ADHD are more likely to have dyslexia.)
My son has ADHD and I thought he would never learn. Finally I wrote a little song that went with the actions and we practiced together, me on my shoe and he on his, step by step.As he got each step right, I gave him a few cashews as reward. After about three concentrated attempts with this method, he got it.The secrets are these:
- He must practice on his own shoes while they are on.
- You sit beside him, not facing him.
- You make it a game with a fun little song. The song must describe the actions in a playful way.
- You give him one-on-one attention.
- And you reward each step with verbal praise and a treat.
- And you stop before he gets frustrated.
- And you must tell everyone you know when he is with you of his huge success. Social praise is important.
If now is a good time to get your child’s attitude and behavior under control, I invite you to use these parenting tips to get started. If you want more tips, I invite you to claim your free report “Seven Simple Ways to Motivate Your Child to Listen to You!” You can download it when you sign up at http://www.AdhdParentingTips.com It explains the methods I used to transform my son’s ADHD/ODD behavior from out-of-control to almost normal in 3 weeks. You also get 3 free videos: “How To Prevent Temper Tantrums.” The sooner you start this, the easier it is to help your child. You CAN do this.
From Debra Sale Wendler - Respect Effect Mom and Respect Effect Parenting at http://www.AdhdParentingSuccess.com