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The Truth About ADHD and ODD is Debra Sale Wendler's look at ADHD and ODD and how it affects family dynamics. Read it online, save it, and feel free to pass it around
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Is Therapy For My Child With ADHD Really That Important?
A Reader Asks:
My child with ADHD is doing well on her prescribed medication, except she has this terrible screaming meltdown problem. My husband and I have to yell at her and threaten to spank her to get her to stop. Our doctor asked me if I thought we needed therapy. So now I’ll ask you…Is therapy really that important?
Respect Effect Mom Answers:
I highly recommend that all married parents that have children with ADHD get marital counseling. Parenting a child with ADHD can take a terrible toll on marriage. Now you see why. One statistic is that these couples are three times more likely to divorce.
Your daughter has meltdowns because she feels inadequate when required to do certain skills she has not been trained to do. She also has meltdowns to control you and get her way, perhaps so you will not ask her to do the chore or skill she feels inadequate doing. Or that she simply does not want to do, for example, homework.
Medication will not solve that. Therapy can if you find the right therapist and if you follow through at home.
You need to learn how to teach your daughter skills and chores so that she feels more capable and so that she takes more responsibility. Even three year olds can be taught to fold hand towels.
The most important thing that you will get from therapy is parent education so that you can learn how to respect your child’s limitations. That’s the starting point. The next thing is to learn how to mend and nurture the parent-child relationship so that your child wants to comply to please you. Your child’s therapist will also teach you coping skills so that you know what to do rather than yell or threaten to spank your child.
Try whispering instead. Or leave the room for five minutes and let her yell to her heart’s content. Then return and see if she wants to yell for five minutes more or three minutes more. Then return again.
Here’s a tip: the more out of control she gets, the quieter andmore in control you get. That will REALLY get her attention. Explain that yelling is only acceptable in an emergency meaning there is blood, fire, or a needed trip to the hospital. Keep things simple. And follow through. That’s a good time to tell the fable about the boy who cried wolf.
The next time she yells and you know it is not an emergency, try acting as if you don’t hear it at all. Obviously she’s getting something out of the yelling—your immediate response and assistance—or she would stop. So take that away from her and see what happens.
If your child’s doctor doesn’t understand ADHD enough to know for certain that your daughter needs therapy, my suggestion is to get a new doctor. Or, to allow him to diagnose and prescribe medication only.
If that’s already done, rather than another trip to the doctor, why not save your money for extra therapy hours instead? And find the very best play therapist you can find, not a psychologist or psychiatrist. That talking kind of therapy will only frustrate you and your child more.
Yes, Therapy IS Really That Important
If now is a good time to get your child’s attitude and behavior under control, I invite you to use these parenting tips to get started. If you want more tips, I invite you to claim your free report “Seven Simple Ways to Motivate Your Child to Listen to You!” You can download it when you sign up at http://www.AdhdParentingTips.com It explains the methods I used to transform my son’s ADHD/ODD behavior from out-of-control to almost normal in 3 weeks. You also get 3 free videos: “How To Prevent Temper Tantrums.” The sooner you start this, the easier it is to help your child. You CAN do this.
From Debra Sale Wendler - Respect Effect Mom and Respect Effect Parenting at http://www.AdhdParentingSuccess.com
Topics: parenting, adhd children, Debra Sale Wendler, Respect Effect Parenting, adhd parenting, parenting tips, therapy, self-medicate, adhd signs, structure, adhd school, parenting classes, Oppostional defiant disorder, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, parenting advice, angry children, child behavior problems, defiant child, oppositional defiant disorder, attention deficit disorder |
Sincerely yours in parenting success,
Debra Sale Wendler
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