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ADHD Parenting: How Can I Help My Child Without Losing My Mind?
My son hasn’t been diagnosed with ADHD but I know in my soul, he has it. He was such a wonderful child from birth to age 5 (3 years ago. That’s when I noticed a behavior change. Now, he’s the complete opposite—not loving but selfish, not caring but rude and obnoxious.
And never stops talking. He talks over us and interrupts our conversations, especially when I’m on the phone. He’s impatient, vengeful, resentful and mean. He blames others for his mistakes and is oversensitive. I have tried different things, but nothing worked.
I’m tired, stressed out, and need some help. I got angry at him, screamed at him, and cursed him. Yes, it might have felt good to vent my frustration and anger at the moment, but on a helpless child; I feel like the most horrible parent in the world!
My husband is in denial. I am just in pain. Please help me. I feel like I’ve lost my mind.
Respect Effect Mom Answers:
I’m sorry you’re suffering. From what you have described, you have every reason to suspect ADHD and ODD.
I know how hard it can be when you don’t know what to do for your child. And you watch helplessly as no matter what you try only seems to make matters worse. It wasn’t that long ago that I was in your shoes.
You are absolutely right to take measures to get your child assessed for ADHD. The secret is to find a good therapist with proven success in improving the behavior of children with ADHD.
Very few people understand ODD, especially how to treat it. And it will get a lot worse and fast until you learn how to provide your child with what he needs.You will never guess what’s causing the problem or how to solve it.
I have never suffered so much in my life as when I was struggling with my out-of-control child. And I felt so isolated and lonely.
Here’s Your Next Important Step
For now just concentrate on the next most important step—getting your child assessed by a competent professional. Spend your time and energy finding someone that you trust. And then take their advice.
No book can help you fast enough. And most of them will confuse you more than help. The magic will start when you find a play therapist skilled in helping children with ADHD AND ODD. And follow his or her advice.
Please do not waste your time trying to get that from a psychiatrist or psychologist. That’s talking therapy. And it will only frustrate your child. The talking kind of therapy will NOT work with your child because long talking bores your child silly. He learns by playing and doing.
Find the best play therapist you can find and trust their advice. And if you can possibly afford it, ask for longer sessions at first than insurance covers. You need several two-three hour sessions to get this under control. 50 minutes a week is NOT enough to solve what I’m hearing you describe.
The solution is medication, therapy, behavior management, and consistency. And that’s what your child’s therapist should teach you how to do. That’s the approach that changed my life and my child’s.
Please take care of yourself. Forgive yourself. And store up your strength to help your child and ease your pain.
Here’s a Quick Parenting Tip
If you feel like screaming or spanking, WHISPER “I’ll be back in five minutes when I decide what to do with you.” And leave the room. Take some deep breaths and calm yourself. Then come back in exactly five minutes and talk calmly. That’s modeling good emotional expression. And that’s the start of the magic.
Sending you strength to fortify your aching heart.
You CAN Solve This
If now is a good time to get your child’s attitude and behavior under control, I invite you to use these parenting tips to get started. If you want more tips, I invite you to claim your free report “Seven Simple Ways to Motivate Your Child to Listen to You!” You can download it when you sign up at http://www.AdhdParentingTips.com It explains the methods I used to transform my son’s ADHD/ODD behavior from out-of-control to almost normal in 3 weeks. You also get 3 free videos: “How To Prevent Temper Tantrums.”
The sooner you start this, the easier it is to help your child. You CAN do this.
From Debra Sale Wendler - Respect Effect Mom and Respect Effect Parenting at http://www.AdhdParentingSuccess.com
Topics: parenting tips, adhd parenting, temper tantrums, add children, adhd child, adhd articles, Respect Effect, adhd signs, adhd children, Debra Sale Wendler, parenting advice, parenting resource, parenting classes, angry children, oppositional defiant disorder, violent children, angry child, defiant child, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder |
Sincerely yours in parenting success,
Debra Sale Wendler
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The Truth About ADHD and ODD is Debra Sale Wendler's look at ADHD and ODD and how it affects family dynamics. Read it online, save it, and feel free to pass it around