RSS Feed | Email Updates

« Children Stealing and Lying: How to Stop Child Lying and Stealing | Home | ADHD Parenting: Should I Spank My Child With ADHD? »

ADHD Parenting: How Do I Convince My Ex To Give Our Son ADHD Medication?

A reader asks: My son’s father refuses to admit our son has ADHD. So he refuses to administer our son’s prescribed medication during visitation. I want my son to see his father but my son needs his meds. Please tell me what to do.

Respect Effect Mom answers: Excuse the shuffling while I get on my soapbox. Often this refusal by fathers to medicate their children with ADHD (who need it) is

S E V E R E  - D E N I A L.

Here’s what I assume is the conversation in these fathers’ heads. “If I refuse to medicate my son, then I am refusing to acknowledge that he has it. And therefore, I could not possibly have passed it to him through my genes.” They often couch their denial under the guise that meds are dangerous or unnecessary.

Sadly, some fathers take this stand to avoid paying their share of their children’s treatment costs. (That’s even worse.) It’s so tragic when a parent allows his ego to get in the way of his child’s chances for success.

That’s why I strongly recommend that any parent (of a child with ADHD) who’s contemplating divorce always do these three things without fail:

  1. Get your child a rock-solid diagnosis.
  2. Get your child’s teachers to complete in-class assessments on the child grades and classroom behavior (while on the medication). This is to document the before - when being administered the medication properly.
  3. Stipulate in the divorce settlement that the noncustodial parent MUST administer the child’s medication as prescribed during visitation. (Or however close you can get to that in your state.)

This is what I would say to a father who refuses to medicate his child with ADHD: “I can see why you may be reluctant to give our son his meds. However, the other side of the coin is this: kids with untreated ADHD often feel so miserable, and hurt so much from feeling like failures at school and with friends, that they drop out of school and turn to drugs and alcohol to soothe their pain. Often before they are 12, and not always in that order.”

Say it over and over and over again until he gets it. Bombard him with supporting articles and statistics. They’re easy to find.

Here’s the thing. If kids with ADHD are not receiving their prescribed medication, they’re MORE likely to become substance abusers later. When that truth finally sunk in, the decision got really easy for me, and I’ve never regretted it.

I know a woman with ADHD who started shooting up methamphetamine when she was 14 for that very reason. (Methamphetamine slows down kids with ADHD. For many people with ADHD, caffeine does, too.) She suffered a horrible childhood. Feeling as if something were wrong with her. As if she were bad. Now she has been diagnosed with ADHD and is on Concerta and loves her life again. So many years wasted. So much needless suffering.)

Please take this to heart. Understand, medication isn’t for everyone. Some children with ADHD have trouble taking it. Some children with ADHD can manage without it. That is why I do not make recommendations for or against ADHD medication.

If now is a good time to get your child’s attitude and behavior under control, I invite you to use these parenting tips to get started. If you want more tips, I invite you to claim your free report “Seven Simple Ways to Motivate Your Child to Listen to You!” You can download it when you sign up at http://www.AdhdParentingTips.com It explains the methods I used to transform my son’s ADHD/ODD behavior from out-of-control to almost normal in 3 weeks. You also get 3 free videos: “How To Prevent Temper Tantrums.” The sooner you start this, the easier it is to help your child. You CAN do this.From Debra Sale Wendler - Respect Effect Mom and Respect Effect Parenting at http://www.AdhdParentingSuccess.com

Topics: self-medicate, caffeine, substance abuse, methamphetamine, Respect Effect, divorce, divorce decree, Debra Sale Wendler, adhd parenting, adhd medication, visitation, attention deficit |

Sincerely yours in parenting success,

Debra Sale Wendler

PS. Did you get your free report yet?

Our subscribers are thrilled with their results from these useful tips and techniques. To get your free report, enter your information in the top right corner of this page or visit:
www.AdhdParentingTips.com

Respect Effect Publishing, Inc.
5114 Balcones Woods Drive Suite 307
Austin, Texas 78759
(866) 982-4440

Email this post to a friend Email this post to a friend

Subscribe to Email Updates



Comments