adhd parenting

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ADHD Parenting: How Do I Convince My Ex To Give Our Son ADHD Medication?

Monday, July 13th, 2009 A reader asks: My son’s father refuses to admit our son has ADHD. So he refuses to administer our son’s prescribed medication during visitation. I want my son to see his father but my son needs his meds. Please tell me what to do. Respect Effect Mom answers: Excuse the shuffling while I get on my soapbox. Often this refusal by fathers to medicate their children with ADHD (who need it) is S E V E R E  - D E N I A L. Here's what I assume is the conversation in these fathers’ heads. "If I refuse to medicate my son, then I am refusing to acknowledge that he has it. And therefore, I could not possibly have...

Children Stealing and Lying: How to Stop Child Lying and Stealing

Wednesday, July 8th, 2009 Stealing is a common misbehavior of children with ADHD.  One of the characteristics of ADHD is impulsiveness—acting without thinking.  When a child with ADHD sees something he likes, he often pockets it, puts it in his mouth, or walks away with it. Later, when he has a quiet moment, he will take it out for a good look at what he got.  If it is not as interesting as he thought, he might just discard it.When a child is caught stealing, he lies impulsively to avoid losing his stolen loot and avoid discipline. (That’s why stealing and lying usually go hand in hand.)The secret is to see the behavior clearly and stay calm.  Address the elements rationally and you can...

Residential Treatment: If You Have Lost Control of Your Child

Wednesday, July 8th, 2009 If your parent-child relationship is too far gone and hormones and peer pressure have set in, your child’s behavior can rapidly escalate out of control, especially if substance abuse is involved.  If you reach this stage, you must get professional help.  A 12- or 13-year-old boy is strong and if he is aggressive or hostile, you might need extra help. If he is out of control and your insurance will cover it, consider putting him in a residential treatment facility.  If insurance does not cover it, try your local state-funded mental health center.  Ask for an intake interview and a psychological evaluation.  You might have to wait a while longer for government facilities versus private facilities, but your child will get the help he needs.Preparing...

Runaways: If Your Child Runs Away From Home, Here’s What To Do

Wednesday, July 8th, 2009 If your child runs away from home, you must call the police for assistance.  When it gets to this point, things can get out of control fast.  If he runs away from home, first determine whether he is running away from or running to something, someone, or somewhere.  Know where your children are at all times. A child abducted by a stranger has a three-hour life expectancy.  Most child abductions by strangers are sexually motivated.  These predators often use the child as pornographic material and kill him or her immediately to hush and hide the evidence.  Explain this hard cold fact to your child.  Tell him, “If it ever gets bad enough that you think it’s better to run away than suffer at...

Child Protective Services: If You Get a Visit From CPS

Wednesday, July 8th, 2009 If your child accuses you falsely of child abuse, understand this is a common and scary result of a damaged parent-child relationship.  An angry and hurt child can lash out against you to other family members, non-custodial parents, caregivers, teachers, school counselors, therapists, and doctors.  Child Protective Services (CPS) workers know that a child rarely accuse parents with whom he has a good relationship.  If you suspect that you may get a visit from CPS, clean and organize your household.  It is difficult to think when you are emotional, so recall as much as you can.  Write a list of the answers to these important questions:What happened?Who was involved?When did it happen?Where did it happen?How did it happen?What led to the...

Children Stealing: What to Do if Your Child Steals From Friends

Wednesday, July 8th, 2009 Parents of children with ADHD commonly complain of their children stealing. If you notice your child playing with an unfamiliar item, for example a pocket knife, ask him where it came from. If he says he found it, back off for a while. At least an hour later, say, “Son, I want you to sit on the sofa for five minutes while you decide what you’re going to tell me about this knife.”  If he tells you he took it from his friend, say, “Tell me three reasons that knife could be worth losing your friend.”  Review the problem-solving steps (from Session 33) with your child. You will probably decide he needs to write an apology letter (see Session 7) and read it...

Parenting: Challenging Child Warning Signs That May Lead to ODD (Oppositional Defiant Disorder)

Wednesday, July 8th, 2009 If your child has ODD (oppositional defiant disorder) or bipolar, you’re familiar with child behavior problems. If your child has signs of autism, ADHD or ADD (attention deficit disorder), Aspergers, or PDD-NOS (Pervasive Developmental Disorder - Not Otherwise Specified), you may be seeing challenging behaviors.Five Warning Signs of Challenging Child BehaviorIf you suspect that your child’s difficult behavior is something more than just being a kid, these are the warning signs of a full-fledged challenging child.1. Refuses to look up into your eyes. This is one of the early signs that your parent-child relationship is in trouble. He refuses to look up into your eyes because that gives you power. He doesn’t trust you enough to give you that control. To...

Children Stealing: What to Do If Your Child Steals from Others

Wednesday, July 8th, 2009 Stealing is a common rite of passage for children. The secret is to develop an action plan and follow it consistently.Let’s assume that your 9-year old child stole his peer’s Squirt Pen at school and you found it in your son’s backpack.  We recommend that you use a token system with which to teach honesty.Give him time to explain his side of the story.  Take a token for each “story” you hear.   If you determine a theft say, “I’m hearing you say that you committed theft.  That’s dishonest.”   Immediately take three tokens.Ask him, “Can you tell me two reasons why you took the pen?”  If he gives you no reasons that he needed it, the theft falls in the “want” category.If he begins to tell the...

Children with ADHD—How to Recognize the Early Signs of ADHD in Children

Wednesday, July 8th, 2009 You will know your child is difficult before he is two years old, especially if you have other children. He exhausts you. He cannot sit still, does not listen to instructions, and gets in trouble constantly. A former foster mother of 36 children with severe ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder) said, “These kids make your eyeballs tired.”If your child has behavior problems, it is hard to know what to do next. You may be reluctant to get him assessed right away because you still have questions. What if he just has a lot of energy? What is normal behavior anyway?Typical Milestones of Children without Child Behavior ProblemsAt three years old—he can initiate play activities and he enjoys playing with...

ADHD in Children - How to Get Your Child to Listen to You (Part 3)

Monday, July 6th, 2009  Stage 3: Not Only NO But You'll Pay For ItHere's what it feels like: At this stage, most parents are so miserable, they're trying to find a way out.Here's what your child does: My son was at this stage when he was 8. By then he was hitting us and hurting our feelings all day long. If your child is going to be aggressive, this is when we see it most.Here's what parents typically do: If you worry what your child will do if you ask him to do something (he doesn't want to do), then you're stuck in this miserable state. If you're changing your behavior to please your child so he won't rebel, then he knows you're... « Previous Entries Next Entries »