angry child

Should My Child Be Assessed for ADHD?

Monday, August 3rd, 2009 A Reader Asks:How do I determine if my child should be assessed for ADHD? Respect Effect Mom Answers:I refer folks looking for the definitive checklist for ADHD and ODD to the DSM-IV for ADHD, and for ODD.  These make it very simple to determine if one’s child should be assessed.In addition, here are some unofficial red flag ADHD alerts you rarely hear mentioned:•    As infants often appear colicky and easily over-stimulated.•    Always chewing on something, sleeves, collars, something.•    Often late to talk and toilet train.•    Often appear to have speech and hearing problems.•    Chronic interrupting.•    Lack of eye contact, especially during introductions.•    Rarely sit through an entire meal without getting up and running around for one thing or another.•    Trouble...

ADHD Parenting: Teaching Empathy, Self-control, and Proper Emotional Expression with Feeling Words

Wednesday, July 22nd, 2009 Parents and their children with ADHD are often surprised to learn that there is no absolute way to feel in a given situation.  For example, if two parents are watching their son struggle with the dreaded multiplication facts, the father might feel angry and frustratedbecause his son does not know his “nines” after seven days of studying.  The mother might feel worried and depleted because she is running out of ways to help and motivate him.  A person’s feelings are valid and real.Feelings Open Your Child’s Eyes to the Shades of Gray of FeelingsThe lame parental statement “You are making me mad, so go to your room, now” can be expressed in graduating degrees of intensity. For example, “You’re chewing your food with your mouth open.  That’s annoying.”  “I’m getting irritated to see you put so much...

ADHD Parenting: How Can I Help My Child Without Losing My Mind?

Friday, July 17th, 2009 A reader asks: My son hasn't been diagnosed with ADHD but I know in my soul, he has it. He was such a wonderful child from birth to age 5 (3 years ago. That’s when I noticed a behavior change. Now, he's the complete opposite—not loving but selfish, not caring but rude and obnoxious. And never stops talking. He talks over us and interrupts our conversations, especially when I’m on the phone. He's impatient, vengeful, resentful and mean. He blames others for his mistakes and is oversensitive. I have tried different things, but nothing worked. I’m tired, stressed out, and need some help.  I got angry at him, screamed at him, and cursed him. Yes, it might have felt good...

Adhd Parenting: A Poem About My Family’s Story

Tuesday, July 14th, 2009 I wrote this poem about my experience with my son who was diagnosed with ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder) when he was four. By age 8, he had full-scale ODD, oppositional defiant disorder, and our family was in real trouble. I hope it touches you and gives you hope. The Turnaround  The quicksand of worry was starting to win.The more that we struggled, the more we sunk in.With fierce love and honor, we clawed at the rim.It was just so chaotic living with him. This man-child with blue eyes and bright golden curls,Who charmed the grandmothers and giggling girls,Would gut us and wrench us from every direction,Then cry for a break from our icy rejection. The torment and sorrow were too much to...

ADHD Parenting: Should I Spank My Child With ADHD?

Tuesday, July 14th, 2009 A reader asks: My parents asked why I wasn’t spanking my son with ADHD. What should I say? Respect Effect Mom answers:I'm 100% against spanking children for too many reasons to go into here. Run don't walk away from anyone that tells you to spank your child or recommends harsh punishment. It causes the fight or flight syndrome. It is harmful to your relationship with your child and his or her opinion of adults. And the damage is very difficult to undo if not impossible. Look for a play therapist with experience in treating children with ADHD? For us, it was the turning point. And it was really fun for my son. Don't let the word "play" leave you...

Specialized Parenting: When Typical Parenting Just Doesn’t Fit

Thursday, February 19th, 2009 Parents tell me they worry about their role in their children's behavior challenges. So let's just get that out of the way... Obviously you care enough to get extra help for your child. That's why you're here right now, right? :)  This is what I think, and you can see if you agree.  Having been through this myself, I'm 90% certain that you are not directly responsible for the development of your child's behavioral or emotional problems. As your child's primary caregiver (not stepparent), you are the only one with the power to resolve his or her behavior and emotional problems.  Some children are more difficult to parent than others. Lots of children have short attention spans. It's hard for them to handle change....

ADD ADHD Parenting: Building The House of Respect - Preparing Your Child With Values, Skills, and the Success Mindset

Tuesday, January 6th, 2009 It's easy to get so busy raising our kids that we lose scope of the ultimate goal. That goal is to prepare our children with the values, skills, and mindset for success.  A widely-accepted definition of success is the ability to support oneself in a career he enjoys. It includes the ability to create and maintain enriching relationships. And requires remaining a law-abiding citizen not dependent on drugs or alcohol.I have an embarrassing admission. It bothers me that I got so involved in running this business, that I lost track of some of your goals, too. That is why I'm focusing more on connecting with you, to find out what you want and need to assist you in parenting. On thing is...

ADHD School: Homework Problems Solved - This Gift…

Wednesday, December 3rd, 2008 Tonight's Respect Effect Parenting Success Summit Event Session 1 - Kumon - No more homework police Remember when you were little and you had that ONE gift you were just DYING to give your mom or dad? Just thinking about their opening it made you feel fantastic... That's how I feel about this session with Dr. Mary Mokris of Kumon North America. Listen, if you know anyone with a child who's struggling in school, send this to them. They've just GOT to attend this session. http://www.respecteffectparenting.com <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<< ************************************* This one event alone will CHANGE YOUR LIFE. That's a promise. If I could do ONE thing over again, I would have kept my son with ADHD in Kumon from kindergarten til...