attention deficit disorder

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ADHD in Children: is ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) Just Bad Behavior?

Saturday, August 1st, 2009 Is ADHD in Children a Medical Condition or Bad Behavior?Parents often ask me if ADHD is a real medical condition or merely bad behavior that requires more severe discipline like spanking.Spanking children with ADHD only causes a fight or flight syndrome that is damaging to the parent-child relationship. A sturdy parent-child relationship is "the thing" that will get parents through this. You CANNOT help your child without it, because he will NOT listen to you.When you learn how to provide your child with the relationship, structure, reward, and consistency he craves, you will see a remarkable improvement in his attitude and behavior. And you will see without a shadow of doubt that ADHD is VERY real, and VERY treatable....

Is Therapy For My Child With ADHD Really That Important?

Thursday, July 23rd, 2009 A Reader Asks:My child with ADHD is doing well on her prescribed medication, except she has this terrible screaming meltdown problem. My husband and I have to yell at her and threaten to spank her to get her to stop. Our doctor asked me if I thought we needed therapy. So now I’ll ask you…Is therapy really that important?  Respect Effect Mom Answers:Medication solves only 25% of the problem at best. The rest of thesolution requires therapy, structure and behavior modification, and consistency. A skilled play therapist can help you with all of these.I highly recommend that all married parents that have children with ADHD get marital counseling. Parenting a child with ADHD can take a terrible toll on marriage....

ADHD Parenting: Teaching Empathy, Self-control, and Proper Emotional Expression with Feeling Words

Wednesday, July 22nd, 2009 Parents and their children with ADHD are often surprised to learn that there is no absolute way to feel in a given situation.  For example, if two parents are watching their son struggle with the dreaded multiplication facts, the father might feel angry and frustratedbecause his son does not know his “nines” after seven days of studying.  The mother might feel worried and depleted because she is running out of ways to help and motivate him.  A person’s feelings are valid and real.Feelings Open Your Child’s Eyes to the Shades of Gray of FeelingsThe lame parental statement “You are making me mad, so go to your room, now” can be expressed in graduating degrees of intensity. For example, “You’re chewing your food with your mouth open.  That’s annoying.”  “I’m getting irritated to see you put so much...

How Do I Know If It’s Asperger’s, Autism, or Severe ADHD?

Monday, July 20th, 2009 A Reader asks:My son’s teacher insists that my son has Asperger’s syndrome or autism. But I think it’s more likely that he has ADHD. What should I do? Respect Effect Mom Answers:I believe that many children with severe ADHD are misdiagnosed as having asperger's, pdd nos, and autism  because far too many diagnosing professionals do not recognize the true traits of ADHD, especially severe ADHD. Therefore, many parents feel hopeless and helpless.ADHD, even severe ADHD is very treatable when you take action early with proper treatment. I am committed to helping parents recognize these characteristics early, and give them the confidence and information to do just that.Going out on a spindly limb here, but many folks don't realize that... Autism...

Adhd Parenting: A Poem About My Family’s Story

Tuesday, July 14th, 2009 I wrote this poem about my experience with my son who was diagnosed with ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder) when he was four. By age 8, he had full-scale ODD, oppositional defiant disorder, and our family was in real trouble. I hope it touches you and gives you hope. The Turnaround  The quicksand of worry was starting to win.The more that we struggled, the more we sunk in.With fierce love and honor, we clawed at the rim.It was just so chaotic living with him. This man-child with blue eyes and bright golden curls,Who charmed the grandmothers and giggling girls,Would gut us and wrench us from every direction,Then cry for a break from our icy rejection. The torment and sorrow were too much to...

Children Stealing and Lying: How to Stop Child Lying and Stealing

Wednesday, July 8th, 2009 Stealing is a common misbehavior of children with ADHD.  One of the characteristics of ADHD is impulsiveness—acting without thinking.  When a child with ADHD sees something he likes, he often pockets it, puts it in his mouth, or walks away with it. Later, when he has a quiet moment, he will take it out for a good look at what he got.  If it is not as interesting as he thought, he might just discard it.When a child is caught stealing, he lies impulsively to avoid losing his stolen loot and avoid discipline. (That’s why stealing and lying usually go hand in hand.)The secret is to see the behavior clearly and stay calm.  Address the elements rationally and you can...

Child Protective Services: If You Get a Visit From CPS

Wednesday, July 8th, 2009 If your child accuses you falsely of child abuse, understand this is a common and scary result of a damaged parent-child relationship.  An angry and hurt child can lash out against you to other family members, non-custodial parents, caregivers, teachers, school counselors, therapists, and doctors.  Child Protective Services (CPS) workers know that a child rarely accuse parents with whom he has a good relationship.  If you suspect that you may get a visit from CPS, clean and organize your household.  It is difficult to think when you are emotional, so recall as much as you can.  Write a list of the answers to these important questions:What happened?Who was involved?When did it happen?Where did it happen?How did it happen?What led to the...

Children Stealing: What to Do if Your Child Steals From Friends

Wednesday, July 8th, 2009 Parents of children with ADHD commonly complain of their children stealing. If you notice your child playing with an unfamiliar item, for example a pocket knife, ask him where it came from. If he says he found it, back off for a while. At least an hour later, say, “Son, I want you to sit on the sofa for five minutes while you decide what you’re going to tell me about this knife.”  If he tells you he took it from his friend, say, “Tell me three reasons that knife could be worth losing your friend.”  Review the problem-solving steps (from Session 33) with your child. You will probably decide he needs to write an apology letter (see Session 7) and read it...

Parenting: Challenging Child Warning Signs That May Lead to ODD (Oppositional Defiant Disorder)

Wednesday, July 8th, 2009 If your child has ODD (oppositional defiant disorder) or bipolar, you’re familiar with child behavior problems. If your child has signs of autism, ADHD or ADD (attention deficit disorder), Aspergers, or PDD-NOS (Pervasive Developmental Disorder - Not Otherwise Specified), you may be seeing challenging behaviors.Five Warning Signs of Challenging Child BehaviorIf you suspect that your child’s difficult behavior is something more than just being a kid, these are the warning signs of a full-fledged challenging child.1. Refuses to look up into your eyes. This is one of the early signs that your parent-child relationship is in trouble. He refuses to look up into your eyes because that gives you power. He doesn’t trust you enough to give you that control. To...

Children Stealing: What to Do If Your Child Steals from Others

Wednesday, July 8th, 2009 Stealing is a common rite of passage for children. The secret is to develop an action plan and follow it consistently.Let’s assume that your 9-year old child stole his peer’s Squirt Pen at school and you found it in your son’s backpack.  We recommend that you use a token system with which to teach honesty.Give him time to explain his side of the story.  Take a token for each “story” you hear.   If you determine a theft say, “I’m hearing you say that you committed theft.  That’s dishonest.”   Immediately take three tokens.Ask him, “Can you tell me two reasons why you took the pen?”  If he gives you no reasons that he needed it, the theft falls in the “want” category.If he begins to tell the... « Previous Entries