behavior problem

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ADHD In Children: 14 Common Excuses and Defenses by Parents

Friday, July 24th, 2009 When struggling with a child’s difficult behavior, it is common for us to cope rather than determine the underlying cause. We get so deep in the thick of despair, it is difficult to dig out of it.Recurring Rationalizations, Defenses, and Excuses of Parents of Children with ADHD: Denial—“I’m not sure he has ADHD.”  (He’s difficult, but you don’t know why.)  “He can pay attention when he’s watching a movie or playing with his toys.”  (Kids with ADHD can pay attention under five conditions.)  “He’s fine.  There’s nothing wrong with him. He’s just… His dad used to… When things get back to normal, he’ll…” (The list goes on.) Self-doubt—“I must have bad genes to have created a kid like this.”  (Slow...

How Do I Know If It’s Asperger’s, Autism, or Severe ADHD?

Monday, July 20th, 2009 A Reader asks:My son’s teacher insists that my son has Asperger’s syndrome or autism. But I think it’s more likely that he has ADHD. What should I do? Respect Effect Mom Answers:I believe that many children with severe ADHD are misdiagnosed as having asperger's, pdd nos, and autism  because far too many diagnosing professionals do not recognize the true traits of ADHD, especially severe ADHD. Therefore, many parents feel hopeless and helpless.ADHD, even severe ADHD is very treatable when you take action early with proper treatment. I am committed to helping parents recognize these characteristics early, and give them the confidence and information to do just that.Going out on a spindly limb here, but many folks don't realize that... Autism...

Residential Treatment: If You Have Lost Control of Your Child

Wednesday, July 8th, 2009 If your parent-child relationship is too far gone and hormones and peer pressure have set in, your child’s behavior can rapidly escalate out of control, especially if substance abuse is involved.  If you reach this stage, you must get professional help.  A 12- or 13-year-old boy is strong and if he is aggressive or hostile, you might need extra help. If he is out of control and your insurance will cover it, consider putting him in a residential treatment facility.  If insurance does not cover it, try your local state-funded mental health center.  Ask for an intake interview and a psychological evaluation.  You might have to wait a while longer for government facilities versus private facilities, but your child will get the help he needs.Preparing...

Child Stealing: If Your Child Steals From You

Wednesday, July 8th, 2009 Children steal for many reasons, especially children with ADHD. If you suspect that your child is stealing from you, you need to take urgent and immediate action before he develops a stealing habit.Prevention is the key here. Have a talk with your child and explain that you want to teach him the important skills of honesty. Explain that you want him to take and hold only items that are his. And that you are starting a new rule that if anyone steals anything from a family member, they must not only return it, but also repay 3 times the original value of the item. Illustrate this concept in several ways so you are certain that you child understands this...

Children Stealing: What to Do if Your Child Steals From Friends

Wednesday, July 8th, 2009 Parents of children with ADHD commonly complain of their children stealing. If you notice your child playing with an unfamiliar item, for example a pocket knife, ask him where it came from. If he says he found it, back off for a while. At least an hour later, say, “Son, I want you to sit on the sofa for five minutes while you decide what you’re going to tell me about this knife.”  If he tells you he took it from his friend, say, “Tell me three reasons that knife could be worth losing your friend.”  Review the problem-solving steps (from Session 33) with your child. You will probably decide he needs to write an apology letter (see Session 7) and read it...

Children Stealing: What to Do If Your Child Steals from Others

Wednesday, July 8th, 2009 Stealing is a common rite of passage for children. The secret is to develop an action plan and follow it consistently.Let’s assume that your 9-year old child stole his peer’s Squirt Pen at school and you found it in your son’s backpack.  We recommend that you use a token system with which to teach honesty.Give him time to explain his side of the story.  Take a token for each “story” you hear.   If you determine a theft say, “I’m hearing you say that you committed theft.  That’s dishonest.”   Immediately take three tokens.Ask him, “Can you tell me two reasons why you took the pen?”  If he gives you no reasons that he needed it, the theft falls in the “want” category.If he begins to tell the...

Children with ADHD—How to Recognize the Early Signs of ADHD in Children

Wednesday, July 8th, 2009 You will know your child is difficult before he is two years old, especially if you have other children. He exhausts you. He cannot sit still, does not listen to instructions, and gets in trouble constantly. A former foster mother of 36 children with severe ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder) said, “These kids make your eyeballs tired.”If your child has behavior problems, it is hard to know what to do next. You may be reluctant to get him assessed right away because you still have questions. What if he just has a lot of energy? What is normal behavior anyway?Typical Milestones of Children without Child Behavior ProblemsAt three years old—he can initiate play activities and he enjoys playing with...

ADHD in Children - How to Get Your Child to Listen to You (Part 3)

Monday, July 6th, 2009  Stage 3: Not Only NO But You'll Pay For ItHere's what it feels like: At this stage, most parents are so miserable, they're trying to find a way out.Here's what your child does: My son was at this stage when he was 8. By then he was hitting us and hurting our feelings all day long. If your child is going to be aggressive, this is when we see it most.Here's what parents typically do: If you worry what your child will do if you ask him to do something (he doesn't want to do), then you're stuck in this miserable state. If you're changing your behavior to please your child so he won't rebel, then he knows you're...

ADHD in Children - How to Get Your Child to Listen to You (Part 2)

Monday, July 6th, 2009  Stage 2: No Way No HowHere's what it feels like: At the moderate stage, most parents are getting discouraged. This usually happens around age 6, but it may be sooner depending on the child's hyperactivity and the parents insistence. It also depends on how oppositional the child may be. (My son was at the moderate stage when he was about 5.) Here's what your child does: He is in charge. You are being held hostage by his angry temper tantrums that last until you give in. He'll have a tantrum every time he doesn't get his way. And he can get quite skilled at them. If this is happening to you, you're both stuck. Your child can't stop it until you...

ADHD in Children - How to Get Your Child to Listen to You - Part 1

Monday, July 6th, 2009 The Problem: Your child is not listening to you. He is not honoring your first request or complying with your wishes.  Parents most common question is "How do I get my child to listen to me?"  This occurs in three main stages depending on your child's hyperactivity and your (his parent's) reactions.  Stage 1: Passive Noncompliance  The first is what we call passive noncompliance.   Here's what it looks like and feels like: Your child is not really defying you and saying NO. But he isn't jumping up and doing what you ask, either. So this leaves you nagging and reminding gently, or not so gently.   Some mothers have to remind their children 5-20 times to get ANYTHING done. Apparently their child... « Previous Entries