child behavior

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ADHD Parenting: Should I Spank My Child With ADHD?

Tuesday, July 14th, 2009 A reader asks: My parents asked why I wasn’t spanking my son with ADHD. What should I say? Respect Effect Mom answers:I'm 100% against spanking children for too many reasons to go into here. Run don't walk away from anyone that tells you to spank your child or recommends harsh punishment. It causes the fight or flight syndrome. It is harmful to your relationship with your child and his or her opinion of adults. And the damage is very difficult to undo if not impossible. Look for a play therapist with experience in treating children with ADHD? For us, it was the turning point. And it was really fun for my son. Don't let the word "play" leave you...

Children Stealing and Lying: How to Stop Child Lying and Stealing

Wednesday, July 8th, 2009 Stealing is a common misbehavior of children with ADHD.  One of the characteristics of ADHD is impulsiveness—acting without thinking.  When a child with ADHD sees something he likes, he often pockets it, puts it in his mouth, or walks away with it. Later, when he has a quiet moment, he will take it out for a good look at what he got.  If it is not as interesting as he thought, he might just discard it.When a child is caught stealing, he lies impulsively to avoid losing his stolen loot and avoid discipline. (That’s why stealing and lying usually go hand in hand.)The secret is to see the behavior clearly and stay calm.  Address the elements rationally and you can...

Runaways: If Your Child Runs Away From Home, Here’s What To Do

Wednesday, July 8th, 2009 If your child runs away from home, you must call the police for assistance.  When it gets to this point, things can get out of control fast.  If he runs away from home, first determine whether he is running away from or running to something, someone, or somewhere.  Know where your children are at all times. A child abducted by a stranger has a three-hour life expectancy.  Most child abductions by strangers are sexually motivated.  These predators often use the child as pornographic material and kill him or her immediately to hush and hide the evidence.  Explain this hard cold fact to your child.  Tell him, “If it ever gets bad enough that you think it’s better to run away than suffer at...

Child Protective Services: If You Get a Visit From CPS

Wednesday, July 8th, 2009 If your child accuses you falsely of child abuse, understand this is a common and scary result of a damaged parent-child relationship.  An angry and hurt child can lash out against you to other family members, non-custodial parents, caregivers, teachers, school counselors, therapists, and doctors.  Child Protective Services (CPS) workers know that a child rarely accuse parents with whom he has a good relationship.  If you suspect that you may get a visit from CPS, clean and organize your household.  It is difficult to think when you are emotional, so recall as much as you can.  Write a list of the answers to these important questions:What happened?Who was involved?When did it happen?Where did it happen?How did it happen?What led to the...

ADHD in Children - How to Get Your Child to Listen to You (Part 2)

Monday, July 6th, 2009  Stage 2: No Way No HowHere's what it feels like: At the moderate stage, most parents are getting discouraged. This usually happens around age 6, but it may be sooner depending on the child's hyperactivity and the parents insistence. It also depends on how oppositional the child may be. (My son was at the moderate stage when he was about 5.) Here's what your child does: He is in charge. You are being held hostage by his angry temper tantrums that last until you give in. He'll have a tantrum every time he doesn't get his way. And he can get quite skilled at them. If this is happening to you, you're both stuck. Your child can't stop it until you...

ADHD in Children - How to Get Your Child to Listen to You - Part 1

Monday, July 6th, 2009 The Problem: Your child is not listening to you. He is not honoring your first request or complying with your wishes.  Parents most common question is "How do I get my child to listen to me?"  This occurs in three main stages depending on your child's hyperactivity and your (his parent's) reactions.  Stage 1: Passive Noncompliance  The first is what we call passive noncompliance.   Here's what it looks like and feels like: Your child is not really defying you and saying NO. But he isn't jumping up and doing what you ask, either. So this leaves you nagging and reminding gently, or not so gently.   Some mothers have to remind their children 5-20 times to get ANYTHING done. Apparently their child...

Parenting Angry Children - Seven Easy Ways to Transform From Reactive to Respected Parent

Monday, July 6th, 2009 Children with ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder), ODD (oppositional defiant disorder), bipolar, autism, Asperger's syndrome, and PDD-NOS (Pervasive Developmental Disorder - Not Otherwise Specified), can be difficult to manage sometimes. If your child has one of these conditions, he may try to push your buttons so you lose control and he wins. The only way out of this gridlock is to develop some winning tactics of your own.Adopt these winning tactics that soothe your child and elevate your parenting style:1. Refuse to argue. Your child's first line of defense (and distraction from the real issue at hand) is to start an argument. Counter his defensive tactic with your calm logic.For example, if you child doesn't want to do the dishes,...

Specialized Parenting: When Typical Parenting Just Doesn’t Fit

Thursday, February 19th, 2009 Parents tell me they worry about their role in their children's behavior challenges. So let's just get that out of the way... Obviously you care enough to get extra help for your child. That's why you're here right now, right? :)  This is what I think, and you can see if you agree.  Having been through this myself, I'm 90% certain that you are not directly responsible for the development of your child's behavioral or emotional problems. As your child's primary caregiver (not stepparent), you are the only one with the power to resolve his or her behavior and emotional problems.  Some children are more difficult to parent than others. Lots of children have short attention spans. It's hard for them to handle change....

Shorty Awards for Most Valuable Health Content on Twitter

Saturday, January 24th, 2009 Twitter is a social media network for building relationships with others byphone or computer. Here's the catch... You only get 140 characters in whichto relay each message.  It's PERFECT for fast communication without wading through the confusingfluff we often get otherwise. And it's perfect for busy parents who may notLOVE to read.  Twitter is my favorite way to attract seekers of valuable informationon raising children with special needs. The Shorty Awards finished yesterday for the most valuable short content onTwitter in 26 categories.  I was first nominated for the Shorty Awards in the health category on December16, 2008. By midnight yesterday, I had received 22 nominations and 127 votesto win for producer of best health content. Each voter was required to enter WHY they placed their votes with me. You cansee their comments here.  http://shortyawards.com/user/ADHDParenting <<<<<<<<< Yes, I did a little campaigning and I'll tell...

Parenting Advice: What to do when your child says, “I hate you.”…

Wednesday, January 14th, 2009 If your child yells, I hate you," and you put on a hurt look or act like a pat of melted butter, he wins this round of emotional blackmail. It's easier for him to verbally abuse "safe Mommy who loves him" than to face the hurtful truth, so it's up to you to change. Calmly say, “I give you permission to hate me.  Do you need to hate me for ten or fifteen [double digit] minutes?”  Let him choose.  Set the timer and leave the room.  When it goes off, check on your child.  If he is still scowling, say, “I see that you’re still daggering me with your eyes, so I’ll give you more time to be angry with me.” (Daggering is our word for the “looking though eye slits”... « Previous Entries