child behavior problems

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Should We Medicate Our Kids with ADHD?

Thursday, July 30th, 2009 Parents often ask me if they should medicate their children with ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder). Talk about shark-infested waters…  I rarely discuss medication because it is such a controversial topic. However, I am willing to brave these shark-infested waters to offer another viewpoint.Here's the thing. Medication only solves about 25% of the difficult characteristics of ADHD that can be solved. Mainly, it helps children concentrate in school. The remaining 75% can be resolved with the help of a skilled therapist who can teach you how to provide structure, consistency, and more.If your child has been diagnosed with ADHD, you are reluctant to rely on medication. However, if your child is struggling in school, you may want to look into administering your...

ADHD In Children: 14 Common Excuses and Defenses by Parents

Friday, July 24th, 2009 When struggling with a child’s difficult behavior, it is common for us to cope rather than determine the underlying cause. We get so deep in the thick of despair, it is difficult to dig out of it.Recurring Rationalizations, Defenses, and Excuses of Parents of Children with ADHD: Denial—“I’m not sure he has ADHD.”  (He’s difficult, but you don’t know why.)  “He can pay attention when he’s watching a movie or playing with his toys.”  (Kids with ADHD can pay attention under five conditions.)  “He’s fine.  There’s nothing wrong with him. He’s just… His dad used to… When things get back to normal, he’ll…” (The list goes on.) Self-doubt—“I must have bad genes to have created a kid like this.”  (Slow...

Is Therapy For My Child With ADHD Really That Important?

Thursday, July 23rd, 2009 A Reader Asks:My child with ADHD is doing well on her prescribed medication, except she has this terrible screaming meltdown problem. My husband and I have to yell at her and threaten to spank her to get her to stop. Our doctor asked me if I thought we needed therapy. So now I’ll ask you…Is therapy really that important?  Respect Effect Mom Answers:Medication solves only 25% of the problem at best. The rest of thesolution requires therapy, structure and behavior modification, and consistency. A skilled play therapist can help you with all of these.I highly recommend that all married parents that have children with ADHD get marital counseling. Parenting a child with ADHD can take a terrible toll on marriage....

How Do I Know If It’s Asperger’s, Autism, or Severe ADHD?

Monday, July 20th, 2009 A Reader asks:My son’s teacher insists that my son has Asperger’s syndrome or autism. But I think it’s more likely that he has ADHD. What should I do? Respect Effect Mom Answers:I believe that many children with severe ADHD are misdiagnosed as having asperger's, pdd nos, and autism  because far too many diagnosing professionals do not recognize the true traits of ADHD, especially severe ADHD. Therefore, many parents feel hopeless and helpless.ADHD, even severe ADHD is very treatable when you take action early with proper treatment. I am committed to helping parents recognize these characteristics early, and give them the confidence and information to do just that.Going out on a spindly limb here, but many folks don't realize that... Autism...

Adhd Parenting: A Poem About My Family’s Story

Tuesday, July 14th, 2009 I wrote this poem about my experience with my son who was diagnosed with ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder) when he was four. By age 8, he had full-scale ODD, oppositional defiant disorder, and our family was in real trouble. I hope it touches you and gives you hope. The Turnaround  The quicksand of worry was starting to win.The more that we struggled, the more we sunk in.With fierce love and honor, we clawed at the rim.It was just so chaotic living with him. This man-child with blue eyes and bright golden curls,Who charmed the grandmothers and giggling girls,Would gut us and wrench us from every direction,Then cry for a break from our icy rejection. The torment and sorrow were too much to...

ADHD Parenting: Should I Spank My Child With ADHD?

Tuesday, July 14th, 2009 A reader asks: My parents asked why I wasn’t spanking my son with ADHD. What should I say? Respect Effect Mom answers:I'm 100% against spanking children for too many reasons to go into here. Run don't walk away from anyone that tells you to spank your child or recommends harsh punishment. It causes the fight or flight syndrome. It is harmful to your relationship with your child and his or her opinion of adults. And the damage is very difficult to undo if not impossible. Look for a play therapist with experience in treating children with ADHD? For us, it was the turning point. And it was really fun for my son. Don't let the word "play" leave you...

Runaways: If Your Child Runs Away From Home, Here’s What To Do

Wednesday, July 8th, 2009 If your child runs away from home, you must call the police for assistance.  When it gets to this point, things can get out of control fast.  If he runs away from home, first determine whether he is running away from or running to something, someone, or somewhere.  Know where your children are at all times. A child abducted by a stranger has a three-hour life expectancy.  Most child abductions by strangers are sexually motivated.  These predators often use the child as pornographic material and kill him or her immediately to hush and hide the evidence.  Explain this hard cold fact to your child.  Tell him, “If it ever gets bad enough that you think it’s better to run away than suffer at...

Child Stealing: If Your Child Steals from School

Wednesday, July 8th, 2009 Be alert, be aware, and check his belongings and backpack.  Be suspicious of the big red warning signs—things he says he “found” or “someone gave to him.” Make the “finding” excuse less attractive.  If your child says he found something, immediately go with him to turn it in where he “found” it.  If he steals library books, have regular room checks and ask your child to return library books to the library.  Confront him with the theft and take tokens each time.Donate some of his personal books to the library.  He must pay the fines with his allowance.  Use library restriction as a last resort. Train your child values and hold him accountable for his actions with logical consequences.  If you use these...

Child Stealing: If Your Child Steals From You

Wednesday, July 8th, 2009 Children steal for many reasons, especially children with ADHD. If you suspect that your child is stealing from you, you need to take urgent and immediate action before he develops a stealing habit.Prevention is the key here. Have a talk with your child and explain that you want to teach him the important skills of honesty. Explain that you want him to take and hold only items that are his. And that you are starting a new rule that if anyone steals anything from a family member, they must not only return it, but also repay 3 times the original value of the item. Illustrate this concept in several ways so you are certain that you child understands this...

Parenting: Challenging Child Warning Signs That May Lead to ODD (Oppositional Defiant Disorder)

Wednesday, July 8th, 2009 If your child has ODD (oppositional defiant disorder) or bipolar, you’re familiar with child behavior problems. If your child has signs of autism, ADHD or ADD (attention deficit disorder), Aspergers, or PDD-NOS (Pervasive Developmental Disorder - Not Otherwise Specified), you may be seeing challenging behaviors.Five Warning Signs of Challenging Child BehaviorIf you suspect that your child’s difficult behavior is something more than just being a kid, these are the warning signs of a full-fledged challenging child.1. Refuses to look up into your eyes. This is one of the early signs that your parent-child relationship is in trouble. He refuses to look up into your eyes because that gives you power. He doesn’t trust you enough to give you that control. To... « Previous Entries