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Should My Child Be Assessed for ADHD?

Monday, August 3rd, 2009 A Reader Asks:How do I determine if my child should be assessed for ADHD? Respect Effect Mom Answers:I refer folks looking for the definitive checklist for ADHD and ODD to the DSM-IV for ADHD, and for ODD.  These make it very simple to determine if one’s child should be assessed.In addition, here are some unofficial red flag ADHD alerts you rarely hear mentioned:•    As infants often appear colicky and easily over-stimulated.•    Always chewing on something, sleeves, collars, something.•    Often late to talk and toilet train.•    Often appear to have speech and hearing problems.•    Chronic interrupting.•    Lack of eye contact, especially during introductions.•    Rarely sit through an entire meal without getting up and running around for one thing or another.•    Trouble...

Should We Medicate Our Kids with ADHD?

Thursday, July 30th, 2009 Parents often ask me if they should medicate their children with ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder). Talk about shark-infested waters…  I rarely discuss medication because it is such a controversial topic. However, I am willing to brave these shark-infested waters to offer another viewpoint.Here's the thing. Medication only solves about 25% of the difficult characteristics of ADHD that can be solved. Mainly, it helps children concentrate in school. The remaining 75% can be resolved with the help of a skilled therapist who can teach you how to provide structure, consistency, and more.If your child has been diagnosed with ADHD, you are reluctant to rely on medication. However, if your child is struggling in school, you may want to look into administering your...

ADHD In Children: 14 Common Excuses and Defenses by Parents

Friday, July 24th, 2009 When struggling with a child’s difficult behavior, it is common for us to cope rather than determine the underlying cause. We get so deep in the thick of despair, it is difficult to dig out of it.Recurring Rationalizations, Defenses, and Excuses of Parents of Children with ADHD: Denial—“I’m not sure he has ADHD.”  (He’s difficult, but you don’t know why.)  “He can pay attention when he’s watching a movie or playing with his toys.”  (Kids with ADHD can pay attention under five conditions.)  “He’s fine.  There’s nothing wrong with him. He’s just… His dad used to… When things get back to normal, he’ll…” (The list goes on.) Self-doubt—“I must have bad genes to have created a kid like this.”  (Slow...

How Do I Know If It’s Asperger’s, Autism, or Severe ADHD?

Monday, July 20th, 2009 A Reader asks:My son’s teacher insists that my son has Asperger’s syndrome or autism. But I think it’s more likely that he has ADHD. What should I do? Respect Effect Mom Answers:I believe that many children with severe ADHD are misdiagnosed as having asperger's, pdd nos, and autism  because far too many diagnosing professionals do not recognize the true traits of ADHD, especially severe ADHD. Therefore, many parents feel hopeless and helpless.ADHD, even severe ADHD is very treatable when you take action early with proper treatment. I am committed to helping parents recognize these characteristics early, and give them the confidence and information to do just that.Going out on a spindly limb here, but many folks don't realize that... Autism...

Children Stealing and Lying: How to Stop Child Lying and Stealing

Wednesday, July 8th, 2009 Stealing is a common misbehavior of children with ADHD.  One of the characteristics of ADHD is impulsiveness—acting without thinking.  When a child with ADHD sees something he likes, he often pockets it, puts it in his mouth, or walks away with it. Later, when he has a quiet moment, he will take it out for a good look at what he got.  If it is not as interesting as he thought, he might just discard it.When a child is caught stealing, he lies impulsively to avoid losing his stolen loot and avoid discipline. (That’s why stealing and lying usually go hand in hand.)The secret is to see the behavior clearly and stay calm.  Address the elements rationally and you can...

Children Stealing: What to Do if Your Child Steals From Friends

Wednesday, July 8th, 2009 Parents of children with ADHD commonly complain of their children stealing. If you notice your child playing with an unfamiliar item, for example a pocket knife, ask him where it came from. If he says he found it, back off for a while. At least an hour later, say, “Son, I want you to sit on the sofa for five minutes while you decide what you’re going to tell me about this knife.”  If he tells you he took it from his friend, say, “Tell me three reasons that knife could be worth losing your friend.”  Review the problem-solving steps (from Session 33) with your child. You will probably decide he needs to write an apology letter (see Session 7) and read it...

Children Stealing: What to Do If Your Child Steals from Others

Wednesday, July 8th, 2009 Stealing is a common rite of passage for children. The secret is to develop an action plan and follow it consistently.Let’s assume that your 9-year old child stole his peer’s Squirt Pen at school and you found it in your son’s backpack.  We recommend that you use a token system with which to teach honesty.Give him time to explain his side of the story.  Take a token for each “story” you hear.   If you determine a theft say, “I’m hearing you say that you committed theft.  That’s dishonest.”   Immediately take three tokens.Ask him, “Can you tell me two reasons why you took the pen?”  If he gives you no reasons that he needed it, the theft falls in the “want” category.If he begins to tell the...

Children with ADHD—How to Recognize the Early Signs of ADHD in Children

Wednesday, July 8th, 2009 You will know your child is difficult before he is two years old, especially if you have other children. He exhausts you. He cannot sit still, does not listen to instructions, and gets in trouble constantly. A former foster mother of 36 children with severe ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder) said, “These kids make your eyeballs tired.”If your child has behavior problems, it is hard to know what to do next. You may be reluctant to get him assessed right away because you still have questions. What if he just has a lot of energy? What is normal behavior anyway?Typical Milestones of Children without Child Behavior ProblemsAt three years old—he can initiate play activities and he enjoys playing with...

ADHD in Children - How to Get Your Child to Listen to You (Part 2)

Monday, July 6th, 2009  Stage 2: No Way No HowHere's what it feels like: At the moderate stage, most parents are getting discouraged. This usually happens around age 6, but it may be sooner depending on the child's hyperactivity and the parents insistence. It also depends on how oppositional the child may be. (My son was at the moderate stage when he was about 5.) Here's what your child does: He is in charge. You are being held hostage by his angry temper tantrums that last until you give in. He'll have a tantrum every time he doesn't get his way. And he can get quite skilled at them. If this is happening to you, you're both stuck. Your child can't stop it until you...

ADHD in Children - How to Get Your Child to Listen to You - Part 1

Monday, July 6th, 2009 The Problem: Your child is not listening to you. He is not honoring your first request or complying with your wishes.  Parents most common question is "How do I get my child to listen to me?"  This occurs in three main stages depending on your child's hyperactivity and your (his parent's) reactions.  Stage 1: Passive Noncompliance  The first is what we call passive noncompliance.   Here's what it looks like and feels like: Your child is not really defying you and saying NO. But he isn't jumping up and doing what you ask, either. So this leaves you nagging and reminding gently, or not so gently.   Some mothers have to remind their children 5-20 times to get ANYTHING done. Apparently their child... « Previous Entries