oppositional defiant disorder

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Should My Child Be Assessed for ADHD?

Monday, August 3rd, 2009 A Reader Asks:How do I determine if my child should be assessed for ADHD? Respect Effect Mom Answers:I refer folks looking for the definitive checklist for ADHD and ODD to the DSM-IV for ADHD, and for ODD.  These make it very simple to determine if one’s child should be assessed.In addition, here are some unofficial red flag ADHD alerts you rarely hear mentioned:•    As infants often appear colicky and easily over-stimulated.•    Always chewing on something, sleeves, collars, something.•    Often late to talk and toilet train.•    Often appear to have speech and hearing problems.•    Chronic interrupting.•    Lack of eye contact, especially during introductions.•    Rarely sit through an entire meal without getting up and running around for one thing or another.•    Trouble...

ADHD in Children: is ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) Just Bad Behavior?

Saturday, August 1st, 2009 Is ADHD in Children a Medical Condition or Bad Behavior?Parents often ask me if ADHD is a real medical condition or merely bad behavior that requires more severe discipline like spanking.Spanking children with ADHD only causes a fight or flight syndrome that is damaging to the parent-child relationship. A sturdy parent-child relationship is "the thing" that will get parents through this. You CANNOT help your child without it, because he will NOT listen to you.When you learn how to provide your child with the relationship, structure, reward, and consistency he craves, you will see a remarkable improvement in his attitude and behavior. And you will see without a shadow of doubt that ADHD is VERY real, and VERY treatable....

Should We Medicate Our Kids with ADHD?

Thursday, July 30th, 2009 Parents often ask me if they should medicate their children with ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder). Talk about shark-infested waters…  I rarely discuss medication because it is such a controversial topic. However, I am willing to brave these shark-infested waters to offer another viewpoint.Here's the thing. Medication only solves about 25% of the difficult characteristics of ADHD that can be solved. Mainly, it helps children concentrate in school. The remaining 75% can be resolved with the help of a skilled therapist who can teach you how to provide structure, consistency, and more.If your child has been diagnosed with ADHD, you are reluctant to rely on medication. However, if your child is struggling in school, you may want to look into administering your...

ADHD In Children: 14 Common Excuses and Defenses by Parents

Friday, July 24th, 2009 When struggling with a child’s difficult behavior, it is common for us to cope rather than determine the underlying cause. We get so deep in the thick of despair, it is difficult to dig out of it.Recurring Rationalizations, Defenses, and Excuses of Parents of Children with ADHD: Denial—“I’m not sure he has ADHD.”  (He’s difficult, but you don’t know why.)  “He can pay attention when he’s watching a movie or playing with his toys.”  (Kids with ADHD can pay attention under five conditions.)  “He’s fine.  There’s nothing wrong with him. He’s just… His dad used to… When things get back to normal, he’ll…” (The list goes on.) Self-doubt—“I must have bad genes to have created a kid like this.”  (Slow...

Is Therapy For My Child With ADHD Really That Important?

Thursday, July 23rd, 2009 A Reader Asks:My child with ADHD is doing well on her prescribed medication, except she has this terrible screaming meltdown problem. My husband and I have to yell at her and threaten to spank her to get her to stop. Our doctor asked me if I thought we needed therapy. So now I’ll ask you…Is therapy really that important?  Respect Effect Mom Answers:Medication solves only 25% of the problem at best. The rest of thesolution requires therapy, structure and behavior modification, and consistency. A skilled play therapist can help you with all of these.I highly recommend that all married parents that have children with ADHD get marital counseling. Parenting a child with ADHD can take a terrible toll on marriage....

ADHD Parenting: Teaching Empathy, Self-control, and Proper Emotional Expression with Feeling Words

Wednesday, July 22nd, 2009 Parents and their children with ADHD are often surprised to learn that there is no absolute way to feel in a given situation.  For example, if two parents are watching their son struggle with the dreaded multiplication facts, the father might feel angry and frustratedbecause his son does not know his “nines” after seven days of studying.  The mother might feel worried and depleted because she is running out of ways to help and motivate him.  A person’s feelings are valid and real.Feelings Open Your Child’s Eyes to the Shades of Gray of FeelingsThe lame parental statement “You are making me mad, so go to your room, now” can be expressed in graduating degrees of intensity. For example, “You’re chewing your food with your mouth open.  That’s annoying.”  “I’m getting irritated to see you put so much...

How Do I Know If It’s Asperger’s, Autism, or Severe ADHD?

Monday, July 20th, 2009 A Reader asks:My son’s teacher insists that my son has Asperger’s syndrome or autism. But I think it’s more likely that he has ADHD. What should I do? Respect Effect Mom Answers:I believe that many children with severe ADHD are misdiagnosed as having asperger's, pdd nos, and autism  because far too many diagnosing professionals do not recognize the true traits of ADHD, especially severe ADHD. Therefore, many parents feel hopeless and helpless.ADHD, even severe ADHD is very treatable when you take action early with proper treatment. I am committed to helping parents recognize these characteristics early, and give them the confidence and information to do just that.Going out on a spindly limb here, but many folks don't realize that... Autism...

ADHD Parenting: How Can I Help My Child Without Losing My Mind?

Friday, July 17th, 2009 A reader asks: My son hasn't been diagnosed with ADHD but I know in my soul, he has it. He was such a wonderful child from birth to age 5 (3 years ago. That’s when I noticed a behavior change. Now, he's the complete opposite—not loving but selfish, not caring but rude and obnoxious. And never stops talking. He talks over us and interrupts our conversations, especially when I’m on the phone. He's impatient, vengeful, resentful and mean. He blames others for his mistakes and is oversensitive. I have tried different things, but nothing worked. I’m tired, stressed out, and need some help.  I got angry at him, screamed at him, and cursed him. Yes, it might have felt good...

Adhd Parenting: When Do Kids Learn to Tie Their Shoes?

Wednesday, July 15th, 2009 A reader asks: We’re having a terrible time teaching my daughter how to tie her shoes. She is six and has ADHD.Respect Effect Mom answers:Most kids will want to know how to do it by age 5. Children that show no interest in learning or have a lot of trouble learning it often have dyslexia or ADHD or both. (Children with ADHD are more likely to have dyslexia.)My son has ADHD and I thought he would never learn. Finally I wrote a little song that went with the actions and we practiced together, me on my shoe and he on his, step by step.As he got each step right, I gave him a few cashews as reward. After about three...

Adhd Parenting: A Poem About My Family’s Story

Tuesday, July 14th, 2009 I wrote this poem about my experience with my son who was diagnosed with ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder) when he was four. By age 8, he had full-scale ODD, oppositional defiant disorder, and our family was in real trouble. I hope it touches you and gives you hope. The Turnaround  The quicksand of worry was starting to win.The more that we struggled, the more we sunk in.With fierce love and honor, we clawed at the rim.It was just so chaotic living with him. This man-child with blue eyes and bright golden curls,Who charmed the grandmothers and giggling girls,Would gut us and wrench us from every direction,Then cry for a break from our icy rejection. The torment and sorrow were too much to... « Previous Entries