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Runaways: If Your Child Runs Away From Home, Here’s What To Do

Wednesday, July 8th, 2009 If your child runs away from home, you must call the police for assistance.  When it gets to this point, things can get out of control fast.  If he runs away from home, first determine whether he is running away from or running to something, someone, or somewhere.  Know where your children are at all times. A child abducted by a stranger has a three-hour life expectancy.  Most child abductions by strangers are sexually motivated.  These predators often use the child as pornographic material and kill him or her immediately to hush and hide the evidence.  Explain this hard cold fact to your child.  Tell him, “If it ever gets bad enough that you think it’s better to run away than suffer at...

Child Stealing: If Your Child Steals from School

Wednesday, July 8th, 2009 Be alert, be aware, and check his belongings and backpack.  Be suspicious of the big red warning signs—things he says he “found” or “someone gave to him.” Make the “finding” excuse less attractive.  If your child says he found something, immediately go with him to turn it in where he “found” it.  If he steals library books, have regular room checks and ask your child to return library books to the library.  Confront him with the theft and take tokens each time.Donate some of his personal books to the library.  He must pay the fines with his allowance.  Use library restriction as a last resort. Train your child values and hold him accountable for his actions with logical consequences.  If you use these...

Child Stealing: If Your Child Steals From You

Wednesday, July 8th, 2009 Children steal for many reasons, especially children with ADHD. If you suspect that your child is stealing from you, you need to take urgent and immediate action before he develops a stealing habit.Prevention is the key here. Have a talk with your child and explain that you want to teach him the important skills of honesty. Explain that you want him to take and hold only items that are his. And that you are starting a new rule that if anyone steals anything from a family member, they must not only return it, but also repay 3 times the original value of the item. Illustrate this concept in several ways so you are certain that you child understands this...

Children Stealing: What to Do if Your Child Steals From Friends

Wednesday, July 8th, 2009 Parents of children with ADHD commonly complain of their children stealing. If you notice your child playing with an unfamiliar item, for example a pocket knife, ask him where it came from. If he says he found it, back off for a while. At least an hour later, say, “Son, I want you to sit on the sofa for five minutes while you decide what you’re going to tell me about this knife.”  If he tells you he took it from his friend, say, “Tell me three reasons that knife could be worth losing your friend.”  Review the problem-solving steps (from Session 33) with your child. You will probably decide he needs to write an apology letter (see Session 7) and read it...

Children Stealing: What to Do If Your Child Steals from Others

Wednesday, July 8th, 2009 Stealing is a common rite of passage for children. The secret is to develop an action plan and follow it consistently.Let’s assume that your 9-year old child stole his peer’s Squirt Pen at school and you found it in your son’s backpack.  We recommend that you use a token system with which to teach honesty.Give him time to explain his side of the story.  Take a token for each “story” you hear.   If you determine a theft say, “I’m hearing you say that you committed theft.  That’s dishonest.”   Immediately take three tokens.Ask him, “Can you tell me two reasons why you took the pen?”  If he gives you no reasons that he needed it, the theft falls in the “want” category.If he begins to tell the...

Children with ADHD—How to Recognize the Early Signs of ADHD in Children

Wednesday, July 8th, 2009 You will know your child is difficult before he is two years old, especially if you have other children. He exhausts you. He cannot sit still, does not listen to instructions, and gets in trouble constantly. A former foster mother of 36 children with severe ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder) said, “These kids make your eyeballs tired.”If your child has behavior problems, it is hard to know what to do next. You may be reluctant to get him assessed right away because you still have questions. What if he just has a lot of energy? What is normal behavior anyway?Typical Milestones of Children without Child Behavior ProblemsAt three years old—he can initiate play activities and he enjoys playing with...

ADHD in Children - How to Get Your Child to Listen to You (Part 3)

Monday, July 6th, 2009  Stage 3: Not Only NO But You'll Pay For ItHere's what it feels like: At this stage, most parents are so miserable, they're trying to find a way out.Here's what your child does: My son was at this stage when he was 8. By then he was hitting us and hurting our feelings all day long. If your child is going to be aggressive, this is when we see it most.Here's what parents typically do: If you worry what your child will do if you ask him to do something (he doesn't want to do), then you're stuck in this miserable state. If you're changing your behavior to please your child so he won't rebel, then he knows you're...

ADHD in Children - How to Get Your Child to Listen to You (Part 2)

Monday, July 6th, 2009  Stage 2: No Way No HowHere's what it feels like: At the moderate stage, most parents are getting discouraged. This usually happens around age 6, but it may be sooner depending on the child's hyperactivity and the parents insistence. It also depends on how oppositional the child may be. (My son was at the moderate stage when he was about 5.) Here's what your child does: He is in charge. You are being held hostage by his angry temper tantrums that last until you give in. He'll have a tantrum every time he doesn't get his way. And he can get quite skilled at them. If this is happening to you, you're both stuck. Your child can't stop it until you...

ADHD in Children - How to Get Your Child to Listen to You - Part 1

Monday, July 6th, 2009 The Problem: Your child is not listening to you. He is not honoring your first request or complying with your wishes.  Parents most common question is "How do I get my child to listen to me?"  This occurs in three main stages depending on your child's hyperactivity and your (his parent's) reactions.  Stage 1: Passive Noncompliance  The first is what we call passive noncompliance.   Here's what it looks like and feels like: Your child is not really defying you and saying NO. But he isn't jumping up and doing what you ask, either. So this leaves you nagging and reminding gently, or not so gently.   Some mothers have to remind their children 5-20 times to get ANYTHING done. Apparently their child...

Parenting Angry Children - Seven Easy Ways to Transform From Reactive to Respected Parent

Monday, July 6th, 2009 Children with ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder), ODD (oppositional defiant disorder), bipolar, autism, Asperger's syndrome, and PDD-NOS (Pervasive Developmental Disorder - Not Otherwise Specified), can be difficult to manage sometimes. If your child has one of these conditions, he may try to push your buttons so you lose control and he wins. The only way out of this gridlock is to develop some winning tactics of your own.Adopt these winning tactics that soothe your child and elevate your parenting style:1. Refuse to argue. Your child's first line of defense (and distraction from the real issue at hand) is to start an argument. Counter his defensive tactic with your calm logic.For example, if you child doesn't want to do the dishes,... « Previous Entries Next Entries »