parenting resource

Should We Medicate Our Kids with ADHD?

Thursday, July 30th, 2009 Parents often ask me if they should medicate their children with ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder). Talk about shark-infested waters…  I rarely discuss medication because it is such a controversial topic. However, I am willing to brave these shark-infested waters to offer another viewpoint.Here's the thing. Medication only solves about 25% of the difficult characteristics of ADHD that can be solved. Mainly, it helps children concentrate in school. The remaining 75% can be resolved with the help of a skilled therapist who can teach you how to provide structure, consistency, and more.If your child has been diagnosed with ADHD, you are reluctant to rely on medication. However, if your child is struggling in school, you may want to look into administering your...

ADHD Parenting: How Can I Help My Child Without Losing My Mind?

Friday, July 17th, 2009 A reader asks: My son hasn't been diagnosed with ADHD but I know in my soul, he has it. He was such a wonderful child from birth to age 5 (3 years ago. That’s when I noticed a behavior change. Now, he's the complete opposite—not loving but selfish, not caring but rude and obnoxious. And never stops talking. He talks over us and interrupts our conversations, especially when I’m on the phone. He's impatient, vengeful, resentful and mean. He blames others for his mistakes and is oversensitive. I have tried different things, but nothing worked. I’m tired, stressed out, and need some help.  I got angry at him, screamed at him, and cursed him. Yes, it might have felt good...

Adhd Parenting: A Poem About My Family’s Story

Tuesday, July 14th, 2009 I wrote this poem about my experience with my son who was diagnosed with ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder) when he was four. By age 8, he had full-scale ODD, oppositional defiant disorder, and our family was in real trouble. I hope it touches you and gives you hope. The Turnaround  The quicksand of worry was starting to win.The more that we struggled, the more we sunk in.With fierce love and honor, we clawed at the rim.It was just so chaotic living with him. This man-child with blue eyes and bright golden curls,Who charmed the grandmothers and giggling girls,Would gut us and wrench us from every direction,Then cry for a break from our icy rejection. The torment and sorrow were too much to...

ADHD Parenting: Should I Spank My Child With ADHD?

Tuesday, July 14th, 2009 A reader asks: My parents asked why I wasn’t spanking my son with ADHD. What should I say? Respect Effect Mom answers:I'm 100% against spanking children for too many reasons to go into here. Run don't walk away from anyone that tells you to spank your child or recommends harsh punishment. It causes the fight or flight syndrome. It is harmful to your relationship with your child and his or her opinion of adults. And the damage is very difficult to undo if not impossible. Look for a play therapist with experience in treating children with ADHD? For us, it was the turning point. And it was really fun for my son. Don't let the word "play" leave you...

Specialized Parenting: When Typical Parenting Just Doesn’t Fit

Thursday, February 19th, 2009 Parents tell me they worry about their role in their children's behavior challenges. So let's just get that out of the way... Obviously you care enough to get extra help for your child. That's why you're here right now, right? :)  This is what I think, and you can see if you agree.  Having been through this myself, I'm 90% certain that you are not directly responsible for the development of your child's behavioral or emotional problems. As your child's primary caregiver (not stepparent), you are the only one with the power to resolve his or her behavior and emotional problems.  Some children are more difficult to parent than others. Lots of children have short attention spans. It's hard for them to handle change....

Shorty Awards for Most Valuable Health Content on Twitter

Saturday, January 24th, 2009 Twitter is a social media network for building relationships with others byphone or computer. Here's the catch... You only get 140 characters in whichto relay each message.  It's PERFECT for fast communication without wading through the confusingfluff we often get otherwise. And it's perfect for busy parents who may notLOVE to read.  Twitter is my favorite way to attract seekers of valuable informationon raising children with special needs. The Shorty Awards finished yesterday for the most valuable short content onTwitter in 26 categories.  I was first nominated for the Shorty Awards in the health category on December16, 2008. By midnight yesterday, I had received 22 nominations and 127 votesto win for producer of best health content. Each voter was required to enter WHY they placed their votes with me. You cansee their comments here.  http://shortyawards.com/user/ADHDParenting <<<<<<<<< Yes, I did a little campaigning and I'll tell...

Parenting Advice: What to do when your child says, “I hate you.”…

Wednesday, January 14th, 2009 If your child yells, I hate you," and you put on a hurt look or act like a pat of melted butter, he wins this round of emotional blackmail. It's easier for him to verbally abuse "safe Mommy who loves him" than to face the hurtful truth, so it's up to you to change. Calmly say, “I give you permission to hate me.  Do you need to hate me for ten or fifteen [double digit] minutes?”  Let him choose.  Set the timer and leave the room.  When it goes off, check on your child.  If he is still scowling, say, “I see that you’re still daggering me with your eyes, so I’ll give you more time to be angry with me.” (Daggering is our word for the “looking though eye slits”...

ADD ADHD Parenting: Building The House of Respect - Preparing Your Child With Values, Skills, and the Success Mindset

Tuesday, January 6th, 2009 It's easy to get so busy raising our kids that we lose scope of the ultimate goal. That goal is to prepare our children with the values, skills, and mindset for success.  A widely-accepted definition of success is the ability to support oneself in a career he enjoys. It includes the ability to create and maintain enriching relationships. And requires remaining a law-abiding citizen not dependent on drugs or alcohol.I have an embarrassing admission. It bothers me that I got so involved in running this business, that I lost track of some of your goals, too. That is why I'm focusing more on connecting with you, to find out what you want and need to assist you in parenting. On thing is...

ADHD School: Homework Problems Solved - This Gift…

Wednesday, December 3rd, 2008 Tonight's Respect Effect Parenting Success Summit Event Session 1 - Kumon - No more homework police Remember when you were little and you had that ONE gift you were just DYING to give your mom or dad? Just thinking about their opening it made you feel fantastic... That's how I feel about this session with Dr. Mary Mokris of Kumon North America. Listen, if you know anyone with a child who's struggling in school, send this to them. They've just GOT to attend this session. http://www.respecteffectparenting.com <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<< ************************************* This one event alone will CHANGE YOUR LIFE. That's a promise. If I could do ONE thing over again, I would have kept my son with ADHD in Kumon from kindergarten til...

ADHD Parenting: Your Child CAN Make Bs and Behave in School with These 7 Simple Tips

Friday, October 17th, 2008 If your child is starting to sink in school, tow him in quickly with these 7 sure-fire lifesavers. Get your child tested for holes in his learning. I recommend Kumon for math and reading. Practice math facts daily.  For younger children start with large flashcards of addition and subtraction. For older children, practice multiplication tables. And give three long division problems a day. Use graph paper. (If he's counting on his fingers, return to the tables.)  Practice writing each day. Provide wide-ruled paper and draw in 1/2 rule and 3/4 rules between lines. Get him to draw three rows of loops. Above the line (as in cursive lowercase bs) and below the lines (as in lowercase gs).  Establish an after-school...