Respect Effect Parenting

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Should My Child Be Assessed for ADHD?

Monday, August 3rd, 2009 A Reader Asks:How do I determine if my child should be assessed for ADHD? Respect Effect Mom Answers:I refer folks looking for the definitive checklist for ADHD and ODD to the DSM-IV for ADHD, and for ODD.  These make it very simple to determine if one’s child should be assessed.In addition, here are some unofficial red flag ADHD alerts you rarely hear mentioned:•    As infants often appear colicky and easily over-stimulated.•    Always chewing on something, sleeves, collars, something.•    Often late to talk and toilet train.•    Often appear to have speech and hearing problems.•    Chronic interrupting.•    Lack of eye contact, especially during introductions.•    Rarely sit through an entire meal without getting up and running around for one thing or another.•    Trouble...

ADHD in Children: is ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) Just Bad Behavior?

Saturday, August 1st, 2009 Is ADHD in Children a Medical Condition or Bad Behavior?Parents often ask me if ADHD is a real medical condition or merely bad behavior that requires more severe discipline like spanking.Spanking children with ADHD only causes a fight or flight syndrome that is damaging to the parent-child relationship. A sturdy parent-child relationship is "the thing" that will get parents through this. You CANNOT help your child without it, because he will NOT listen to you.When you learn how to provide your child with the relationship, structure, reward, and consistency he craves, you will see a remarkable improvement in his attitude and behavior. And you will see without a shadow of doubt that ADHD is VERY real, and VERY treatable....

Should We Medicate Our Kids with ADHD?

Thursday, July 30th, 2009 Parents often ask me if they should medicate their children with ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder). Talk about shark-infested waters…  I rarely discuss medication because it is such a controversial topic. However, I am willing to brave these shark-infested waters to offer another viewpoint.Here's the thing. Medication only solves about 25% of the difficult characteristics of ADHD that can be solved. Mainly, it helps children concentrate in school. The remaining 75% can be resolved with the help of a skilled therapist who can teach you how to provide structure, consistency, and more.If your child has been diagnosed with ADHD, you are reluctant to rely on medication. However, if your child is struggling in school, you may want to look into administering your...

ADHD In Children: 14 Common Excuses and Defenses by Parents

Friday, July 24th, 2009 When struggling with a child’s difficult behavior, it is common for us to cope rather than determine the underlying cause. We get so deep in the thick of despair, it is difficult to dig out of it.Recurring Rationalizations, Defenses, and Excuses of Parents of Children with ADHD: Denial—“I’m not sure he has ADHD.”  (He’s difficult, but you don’t know why.)  “He can pay attention when he’s watching a movie or playing with his toys.”  (Kids with ADHD can pay attention under five conditions.)  “He’s fine.  There’s nothing wrong with him. He’s just… His dad used to… When things get back to normal, he’ll…” (The list goes on.) Self-doubt—“I must have bad genes to have created a kid like this.”  (Slow...

Is Therapy For My Child With ADHD Really That Important?

Thursday, July 23rd, 2009 A Reader Asks:My child with ADHD is doing well on her prescribed medication, except she has this terrible screaming meltdown problem. My husband and I have to yell at her and threaten to spank her to get her to stop. Our doctor asked me if I thought we needed therapy. So now I’ll ask you…Is therapy really that important?  Respect Effect Mom Answers:Medication solves only 25% of the problem at best. The rest of thesolution requires therapy, structure and behavior modification, and consistency. A skilled play therapist can help you with all of these.I highly recommend that all married parents that have children with ADHD get marital counseling. Parenting a child with ADHD can take a terrible toll on marriage....

How I Use Rich Media to SHOW Parents How to Help Children with ADHD and ODD

Wednesday, July 22nd, 2009 Please Tune in Tonight at 9 Eastern, 8 Central, and 6 Pacific to SEE how we use rich media in our family-run business to SHOW parents how to help their children feel more successful at home, at school, and in the community.What is Rich Media?Rich media is the new term for incorporating text, graphics, audio, video, in an interactive format to communicate a message. Tonight Rich-Media GENIUS  Paul Richardson (@TheMediaCzar on Twitter) grills me on how I use rich media, Twitter and other social media, blogs, bookmarking, and email to deliver our Message of Hope and Practical Steps to POSITIVE CHANGE to parents around the world.  Here's How to Join in the Conversation...You can join us by listening in on your...

ADHD Parenting: Teaching Empathy, Self-control, and Proper Emotional Expression with Feeling Words

Wednesday, July 22nd, 2009 Parents and their children with ADHD are often surprised to learn that there is no absolute way to feel in a given situation.  For example, if two parents are watching their son struggle with the dreaded multiplication facts, the father might feel angry and frustratedbecause his son does not know his “nines” after seven days of studying.  The mother might feel worried and depleted because she is running out of ways to help and motivate him.  A person’s feelings are valid and real.Feelings Open Your Child’s Eyes to the Shades of Gray of FeelingsThe lame parental statement “You are making me mad, so go to your room, now” can be expressed in graduating degrees of intensity. For example, “You’re chewing your food with your mouth open.  That’s annoying.”  “I’m getting irritated to see you put so much...

How Do I Know If It’s Asperger’s, Autism, or Severe ADHD?

Monday, July 20th, 2009 A Reader asks:My son’s teacher insists that my son has Asperger’s syndrome or autism. But I think it’s more likely that he has ADHD. What should I do? Respect Effect Mom Answers:I believe that many children with severe ADHD are misdiagnosed as having asperger's, pdd nos, and autism  because far too many diagnosing professionals do not recognize the true traits of ADHD, especially severe ADHD. Therefore, many parents feel hopeless and helpless.ADHD, even severe ADHD is very treatable when you take action early with proper treatment. I am committed to helping parents recognize these characteristics early, and give them the confidence and information to do just that.Going out on a spindly limb here, but many folks don't realize that... Autism...

Child Protective Services: If You Get a Visit From CPS

Wednesday, July 8th, 2009 If your child accuses you falsely of child abuse, understand this is a common and scary result of a damaged parent-child relationship.  An angry and hurt child can lash out against you to other family members, non-custodial parents, caregivers, teachers, school counselors, therapists, and doctors.  Child Protective Services (CPS) workers know that a child rarely accuse parents with whom he has a good relationship.  If you suspect that you may get a visit from CPS, clean and organize your household.  It is difficult to think when you are emotional, so recall as much as you can.  Write a list of the answers to these important questions:What happened?Who was involved?When did it happen?Where did it happen?How did it happen?What led to the...

Child Stealing: If Your Child Steals From You

Wednesday, July 8th, 2009 Children steal for many reasons, especially children with ADHD. If you suspect that your child is stealing from you, you need to take urgent and immediate action before he develops a stealing habit.Prevention is the key here. Have a talk with your child and explain that you want to teach him the important skills of honesty. Explain that you want him to take and hold only items that are his. And that you are starting a new rule that if anyone steals anything from a family member, they must not only return it, but also repay 3 times the original value of the item. Illustrate this concept in several ways so you are certain that you child understands this... « Previous Entries