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Should My Child Be Assessed for ADHD?

Monday, August 3rd, 2009 A Reader Asks:How do I determine if my child should be assessed for ADHD? Respect Effect Mom Answers:I refer folks looking for the definitive checklist for ADHD and ODD to the DSM-IV for ADHD, and for ODD.  These make it very simple to determine if one’s child should be assessed.In addition, here are some unofficial red flag ADHD alerts you rarely hear mentioned:•    As infants often appear colicky and easily over-stimulated.•    Always chewing on something, sleeves, collars, something.•    Often late to talk and toilet train.•    Often appear to have speech and hearing problems.•    Chronic interrupting.•    Lack of eye contact, especially during introductions.•    Rarely sit through an entire meal without getting up and running around for one thing or another.•    Trouble...

Children Stealing and Lying: How to Stop Child Lying and Stealing

Wednesday, July 8th, 2009 Stealing is a common misbehavior of children with ADHD.  One of the characteristics of ADHD is impulsiveness—acting without thinking.  When a child with ADHD sees something he likes, he often pockets it, puts it in his mouth, or walks away with it. Later, when he has a quiet moment, he will take it out for a good look at what he got.  If it is not as interesting as he thought, he might just discard it.When a child is caught stealing, he lies impulsively to avoid losing his stolen loot and avoid discipline. (That’s why stealing and lying usually go hand in hand.)The secret is to see the behavior clearly and stay calm.  Address the elements rationally and you can...

Residential Treatment: If You Have Lost Control of Your Child

Wednesday, July 8th, 2009 If your parent-child relationship is too far gone and hormones and peer pressure have set in, your child’s behavior can rapidly escalate out of control, especially if substance abuse is involved.  If you reach this stage, you must get professional help.  A 12- or 13-year-old boy is strong and if he is aggressive or hostile, you might need extra help. If he is out of control and your insurance will cover it, consider putting him in a residential treatment facility.  If insurance does not cover it, try your local state-funded mental health center.  Ask for an intake interview and a psychological evaluation.  You might have to wait a while longer for government facilities versus private facilities, but your child will get the help he needs.Preparing...

Runaways: If Your Child Runs Away From Home, Here’s What To Do

Wednesday, July 8th, 2009 If your child runs away from home, you must call the police for assistance.  When it gets to this point, things can get out of control fast.  If he runs away from home, first determine whether he is running away from or running to something, someone, or somewhere.  Know where your children are at all times. A child abducted by a stranger has a three-hour life expectancy.  Most child abductions by strangers are sexually motivated.  These predators often use the child as pornographic material and kill him or her immediately to hush and hide the evidence.  Explain this hard cold fact to your child.  Tell him, “If it ever gets bad enough that you think it’s better to run away than suffer at...

Child Protective Services: If You Get a Visit From CPS

Wednesday, July 8th, 2009 If your child accuses you falsely of child abuse, understand this is a common and scary result of a damaged parent-child relationship.  An angry and hurt child can lash out against you to other family members, non-custodial parents, caregivers, teachers, school counselors, therapists, and doctors.  Child Protective Services (CPS) workers know that a child rarely accuse parents with whom he has a good relationship.  If you suspect that you may get a visit from CPS, clean and organize your household.  It is difficult to think when you are emotional, so recall as much as you can.  Write a list of the answers to these important questions:What happened?Who was involved?When did it happen?Where did it happen?How did it happen?What led to the...

Child Stealing: If Your Child Steals from School

Wednesday, July 8th, 2009 Be alert, be aware, and check his belongings and backpack.  Be suspicious of the big red warning signs—things he says he “found” or “someone gave to him.” Make the “finding” excuse less attractive.  If your child says he found something, immediately go with him to turn it in where he “found” it.  If he steals library books, have regular room checks and ask your child to return library books to the library.  Confront him with the theft and take tokens each time.Donate some of his personal books to the library.  He must pay the fines with his allowance.  Use library restriction as a last resort. Train your child values and hold him accountable for his actions with logical consequences.  If you use these...

Child Stealing: If Your Child Steals From You

Wednesday, July 8th, 2009 Children steal for many reasons, especially children with ADHD. If you suspect that your child is stealing from you, you need to take urgent and immediate action before he develops a stealing habit.Prevention is the key here. Have a talk with your child and explain that you want to teach him the important skills of honesty. Explain that you want him to take and hold only items that are his. And that you are starting a new rule that if anyone steals anything from a family member, they must not only return it, but also repay 3 times the original value of the item. Illustrate this concept in several ways so you are certain that you child understands this...

Children Stealing: What to Do if Your Child Steals From Friends

Wednesday, July 8th, 2009 Parents of children with ADHD commonly complain of their children stealing. If you notice your child playing with an unfamiliar item, for example a pocket knife, ask him where it came from. If he says he found it, back off for a while. At least an hour later, say, “Son, I want you to sit on the sofa for five minutes while you decide what you’re going to tell me about this knife.”  If he tells you he took it from his friend, say, “Tell me three reasons that knife could be worth losing your friend.”  Review the problem-solving steps (from Session 33) with your child. You will probably decide he needs to write an apology letter (see Session 7) and read it...

Parenting: Challenging Child Warning Signs That May Lead to ODD (Oppositional Defiant Disorder)

Wednesday, July 8th, 2009 If your child has ODD (oppositional defiant disorder) or bipolar, you’re familiar with child behavior problems. If your child has signs of autism, ADHD or ADD (attention deficit disorder), Aspergers, or PDD-NOS (Pervasive Developmental Disorder - Not Otherwise Specified), you may be seeing challenging behaviors.Five Warning Signs of Challenging Child BehaviorIf you suspect that your child’s difficult behavior is something more than just being a kid, these are the warning signs of a full-fledged challenging child.1. Refuses to look up into your eyes. This is one of the early signs that your parent-child relationship is in trouble. He refuses to look up into your eyes because that gives you power. He doesn’t trust you enough to give you that control. To...

Children Stealing: What to Do If Your Child Steals from Others

Wednesday, July 8th, 2009 Stealing is a common rite of passage for children. The secret is to develop an action plan and follow it consistently.Let’s assume that your 9-year old child stole his peer’s Squirt Pen at school and you found it in your son’s backpack.  We recommend that you use a token system with which to teach honesty.Give him time to explain his side of the story.  Take a token for each “story” you hear.   If you determine a theft say, “I’m hearing you say that you committed theft.  That’s dishonest.”   Immediately take three tokens.Ask him, “Can you tell me two reasons why you took the pen?”  If he gives you no reasons that he needed it, the theft falls in the “want” category.If he begins to tell the... « Previous Entries