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Runaways: If Your Child Runs Away From Home, Here’s What To Do

If your child runs away from home, you must call the police for assistance.  When it gets to this point, things can get out of control fast.  If he runs away from home, first determine whether he is running away from or running to something, someone, or somewhere.  Know where your children are at all times. 

A child abducted by a stranger has a three-hour life expectancy.  Most child abductions by strangers are sexually motivated.  These predators often use the child as pornographic material and kill him or her immediately to hush and hide the evidence.  Explain this hard cold fact to your child.  Tell him, “If it ever gets bad enough that you think it’s better to run away than suffer at home, please tell me immediately. I promise I will help you get what you need, not judge you.  I just want you to be safe.” 

First-time runaway
If your child is under three years old, search immediately.  He might have wandered off absentmindedly.  If your older child makes verbal threats to run away, take this as a red flag to sit with him and listen to check his feelings—usually sad, disappointed, and hateful. 

See if some talking will reassure him enough to change his mind.  If you he may run away from home, begin 15-minute visual checks to keep constant supervision of his activities.  Keep a record of what he wears each day.  Weigh and measure him and have a recent picture ready in case he runs.If he runs away, first, search for an hour. Call his friends and look at his favorite hangouts, for example, the park; then, call the police. 

Give them the specifics—your child’s age, height, weight, and color of eyes and hair.  Describe his clothing and special features, including glasses, freckles, moles, and scars, if any. The police might come by to gather information to file a report.  If you use a behavior chart or token system to manage your child’s behavior, take all of your child’s tokens.  He did not take them with him (when he ran away), so he must not want them.Remain calm when your child returns on his own or with the police.  First, check to see if he is physically injured.  Ask him where he has been.  Ask him to give you three reasons why he left without informing you.  Share how you are feeling now.  Ask him to tell you how he was feeling just before he left and how he is feeling now before you.  See if you and he can learn something and come to some kind of understanding. 

He can earn tokens by talking with you about his reasons and feelings.  From this point on, keep the police telephone number next to the telephone.  Your child should have three days of sight restriction with an adult. That means that he should stay within view of and be supervised by an adult.

Second-Time Runaway
Repeat the procedure for the runaway outlined above.  This time, when processing, ask your child for three reasons why he wants to return home.  Third-Time RunawayRepeat the procedure for the first and second times above. This time, when processing, explain to him that that you see a set pattern of running to or running from something.  State that the family must go for counseling to prevent this from happening again.

Fourth-Time Runaway
Call the Juvenile Probation Department to see if it has a program to help chronic runaways. Understand that your child is telling you something repeatedly.  Why are you not listening?  Suspect that he has additional problems, for example, depression, substance abuse, or physical injury and deal with them promptly.  A psychological assessment may be necessary and follow through on what the psychologist recommends.

You Can Solve This

I invite you to use these methods to transform quickly from reactive parent to surprisingly calm, cool, and collected parent worthy of attention and respect.

If you want to solve the underlying  problem that is causing your child to run, I invite you to claim your free child behavior–improving report “Three Easy Ways to Improve Your Child’s Behavior Today!”  You can download it when you subscribe athttp://www.AdhdParentingTips.com  It explains the methods I used to improve my son’s ADHD/ODD behavior by 72% in 3 weeks. The sooner you start, the easier it is to help your child. You can do this.

From Debra Sale Wendler - Respect Effect Mom and ADHD Parenting Success at http://www.AdhdParentingSuccess.com